[Rachelakabatman]

I lost my job to depression. I lost my friends to depression. My self esteem is gone. I have been getting help for my depression and I thought I was getting better. I touched base with a friend to see about starting over again and she basically reminded me of every mistake I made while being her friend. In my mind I don't try to give attitude or be *****y. I don't even realize I am doing it until someone points it out. I give up. I am trying and no one thinks I am worth another chance. This friend even told me my other friend started to self harm because of my influence. I cried and had to skip classes. I feel so guilty. I don't know if I want to resume any friendships anymore. Apparently I am to bad of a person for friends. I am not getting the forgiveness I wanted from friends. Idk how to forgive myself. I feel like a monster. I am afraid I am choosing this. Idk what to do. I don't want to be alone.

[kotagirl]

Im the same. I lost friends and relationships due to depression, and ive kinda became a bit of a ***** with out trying to. But I don't get help. I feel like if I told someone they wouldn't care and it would be a waste of time. its not ur fault. please keep trying to forgive yourself I know its hard, but I don't know what else to do.

Perhaps consider CBT. It teaches you to challenge your core negative thoughts and understand our past behaviours.

[Fuzzybear]

[Skeezyks]

Hello Rachelakabatman: I'm sorry you are having this difficulty. I'm pretty-much solitary myself at this point. Fortunately I'm an older person which, I think, probably makes this easier. My perspective is that no good has ever resulted from me having anything to do with other people. I've had so many unfortunate experiences that, over time, I've had to accept that it is probably mostly me. Perhaps it is because I never liked myself & so it was simply not possible to get along with anyone else either. And, like you, I didn't, for the most part, realize I was doing it. (Sometimes I did...) But I guess I was. Anyway, my response, after so many years is to simply keep to myself. However, if I were still young, I doubt this would be an acceptable solution. So I hope that, if your old friends no longer want to be friends, you will strive to make new ones. I believe it is pretty-much accepted that loneliness is bad for one's health.