I just wish I could be "normal"

I cannot be happy and I am so frustrated. I don't enjoy life like I used to, I isolate away from people and feel like I get angry easily. Not like explosive, but just frustrated because I feel like nothing ever works out the way it was supposed to. Mostly because I don't enjoy tings like I used to.

I don't look forward to anything, don't really care about anything and I just feel so, so...numb. And sad I guess. Because I can't feel happy. I am better then I used to be, on antidepressants but maybe not a high enough dose.

I am just tired of trying medications/doses. I just want to feel excited and happy again about something, anything. I am pretty good at just pushing my feelings to the side and not dealing with them because dealing with them just makes me feel awful.

Is it too much to ask to not feel like this? I have a good life, a husband, a daughter, a home and a career but I just feel so empty. I really, really want to be grateful and happy but it just doesn't come.

There have been a lot of things other then my imbalance that cause my depression such as: friends screwing me over, family dysfunction, etc. That's a story for another time, right now I just feel like I am ready to sob my day away and needed to rant.

Depression is a B****

yep.. i feel you..

Hello mizora: The Skeezyks is pretty-much entirely solitary, also struggles with anger as well as generalized anxiety. It's become a way of life. In fact, happiness is not even something I seek anymore. What I strive for is simple acceptance of things as they are. So I have some sense of what you're feeling. I send warm thoughts your way with the hope that you will be able to find deep peace in your life...

I love what you said "What I strive for is simple acceptance of things as they are." That is so true, right where I am at.

Acceptance is all I have, I think I was happier when I was younger cause I didn't know what was ahead. I could fantasize about the life I would live for years but then when it became a reality I was disappointed. When I was a kid I thought I could do anything, be anything and I realized some things just aren't possible.

I need to somehow be ok with that simple acceptance of reality and find something I can just say I am comfortable with or content to spend my time doing.