[elevatedsoul]

sometimes i swing my whole body when i walk, or feels like trying to walk but its ****ed up - i mean i never really payed attention to it but i've been realizing it lately...
not doing it intentionally... its like my persona changes or the way i stand and stuff changes, dunno what thats called - enlighten me?

seems like when im really really ... um... feeling - bad- so bad that i start to get numb... which i think i start to get numb because i try to hide it so much... because thts when i've been noticing it...

maybe a jacked up gangster walk..?
dunno what the hell ? my body does some stupid ****

now im gonna be paranoid as &&&& about that too :/
people must think im like super doped up when i do that?

dunno how to explain it besides like walking in a swing... like with your whole body... not like having a seizure or anything, or moving sporatically, just like... flowing... rather than just walking - sei lá

anyone else do that?

[lavendersage]

elevated...truthfully, I'm trying to picture what you're describing but it's a little hard. I don't do that though, most certainly, I probably do other weird ***** shyt.

[elevatedsoul]

huumm....
wel.. most people walk - you know, its just walking... thats pbrettiny simple....

and i walk most the time ok too is fine... but i knotis sometimes my body just moves ... like... i rwill try to find a little video ... but i noticd today that i dont do it the same way all the time, ist the same genral thing... it just has variations, im thinking myable its because im trying to hide so much pane....

i hurt so much and i cant xplayin it to any one....
beczue its noyt real? i mean it is real tom me.... it is really real....

anyway im g digresssing....

i cnt find a video showing what im talking about... besides referenceing how thos guys trying to walk like gangster they do all that were stufd....
im not moving my arms around and acting like a pimp !!! but its like im havng to hold my left leg and swing half my body forwardin a motion so that it drags the rest of me behind... is like a flow... not a walk... like forcing myself to i mavye?
im sure i dont look like a ****ing dumbass but it im sure it looks differnt.... no one has ever said anything to my aboue it....
but im just nocicing it....

its not problem really... i just end up moving loittle slower than normal....

um....

imagine....

standing straight in a looking positionm...
younhave a thought - "im going to go over thre"
you swing your right lefgt in front... then swith weight on to right leg and drag left leg behind.... nda your torso is moving in a flowing mostion with the movnents of the legs... like your right side is moving forward after the right leg and then you move the leftleg and then your left torso floows the left leg... like a wobble... but is not a woblle i dont think...

ist not very important im just notcing it and thought mayby its something i sjought pay ateniton to....

if i could i would try to record a video of myself doing it but i break cameras and dont own any cameras and dont take pictuyres and...

its noyt very impurtant.... i juyst thought maybe is something subyconsiouz....

blhah... sorry for ymy spelling.... my vision is bot good.... im not gonna write amy more posts tonithgt.....

have goot night everytone....

[elevatedsoul]

oh ,,,, um.. im not alwysay super messed upp wihen that happes - i know drugs nad stuff can make you move strange... like isayd i dont think its strange... just i lok differnt somtimes...

[elevatedsoul]

kkoo i take that back i thnk its strange as hgelll

[elevatedsoul]

l ol look at this video

this not what im talkng about
but when i start doing it i move so much slower, like 1 step, 1 step, 1 step, its not like a walk...