[Sirensong18]

Today I’m feeling very sad and isolated and lonely.

A girl I had considered to be one of my best friends is getting married today… but she didn’t invite me. We met in college, and I had her as one of my two bridesmaids when I got married in 2009. I’ve tried my best to stay in touch with her over the years… but it doesn’t seem to make any difference. She’s had a kid, plus the guy she’s marrying has 2 kids of his own, so that’s a pretty full house. It seems that once people have kids, they don’t have time for their old friends anymore, making it very hard to keep up a relationship and spend any time together.

Not being involved in her wedding, not even being invited - is really hurting my feelings today. I’d been doing so well with battling my depression lately, and I don’t want to slip back down into the blackness because of this heartache.

Thanks for listening.

[elevatedsoul]

i feel you... sorry....

[lavendersage]

I'm sorry this happened to you and I can understand how that could hurt your feelings. I don't make friends to lose friends; when I care, I'm all in - nothing half-azzedness about me. I would be feeling mighty low, too.

Sending you a big hug.

Originally Posted by Sirensong18

Today I’m feeling very sad and isolated and lonely.

A girl I had considered to be one of my best friends is getting married today… but she didn’t invite me. We met in college, and I had her as one of my two bridesmaids when I got married in 2009. I’ve tried my best to stay in touch with her over the years… but it doesn’t seem to make any difference. She’s had a kid, plus the guy she’s marrying has 2 kids of his own, so that’s a pretty full house. It seems that once people have kids, they don’t have time for their old friends anymore, making it very hard to keep up a relationship and spend any time together.

Not being involved in her wedding, not even being invited - is really hurting my feelings today. I’d been doing so well with battling my depression lately, and I don’t want to slip back down into the blackness because of this heartache.

Thanks for listening.

Weddings are a particularly tricky one aren't they? I'm so sorry this happened and you are feeling down. What are you planning to help you take a deep breath and move on? What has worked for you before?

[dexter]

Very sorry SirenSong. I would absolutely be under my bed if this had happened to me.

[mizora]

I have lost so many friends over the years, I feel like I care more about others then they do about me. I am so sorry, that is a pretty low blow. Have you told her how you feel? It sounds like she is trying to cut ties without saying it officially.

The older I get the easier it gets to let people know when I am not ok with how they are treating me. I have been finding a lot of closure and clarity to be able to say, "What you have done has really hurt me, I truly cared for you and I do not feel that you reciprocate those feelings. If you want to mend things the ball is in your quart, otherwise I am moving on."

I have done this so many times sadly. It never gets easy but at least I feel like I have some sense of control by being the one to say I am moving on.

Hang in there! This certainly is a tough situation, sending thoughts your way!

[Sirensong18]

Originally Posted by SadButHopeful

Weddings are a particularly tricky one aren't they? I'm so sorry this happened and you are feeling down. What are you planning to help you take a deep breath and move on? What has worked for you before?

Well, basically all I can do at this point is cut my losses and move on. Clearly she doesn't care about me anymore... or at least not enough to consider me important enough to be a part of her special day.

So tears cried, disappointment felt, and deep breath taken... I guess I'll just move on and try to focus more on improving the few friendships I still have.

[Sirensong18]

Originally Posted by mizora

I have lost so many friends over the years, I feel like I care more about others then they do about me. I am so sorry, that is a pretty low blow. Have you told her how you feel? It sounds like she is trying to cut ties without saying it officially.

The older I get the easier it gets to let people know when I am not ok with how they are treating me. I have been finding a lot of closure and clarity to be able to say, "What you have done has really hurt me, I truly cared for you and I do not feel that you reciprocate those feelings. If you want to mend things the ball is in your quart, otherwise I am moving on."

I have done this so many times sadly. It never gets easy but at least I feel like I have some sense of control by being the one to say I am moving on.

Hang in there! This certainly is a tough situation, sending thoughts your way!

Thanks for your reply. I think we're in the same boat - we care more deeply for others than they care for us. It's a tough position to be in.

I'm not sure if she's trying to cut ties with me... or if I'm just not as important to her as she is to me. Case in point: I have about 40 friends on Facebook, and that includes several family members. She has over 800 friends on fb. So either she just adds EVERYONE she knows, or she has a much larger social circle than I do, or maybe both. She still 'likes' my pictures and some posts, and she even comments on some of my posts, and does reply to my comments on her posts. So it doesn't feel like she's trying to cut me out completely...

We had a chance to hang out briefly in the Summer when Bernie Sanders came to town (we attended his rally together, which was fun, and I thought we both had a good time.)

The place she got married is a pretty small venue, and with 3 kids under 6 in the household I can understand if finances are tight and she didn't have the money to have a big, lavish wedding with lots of guests. I just wish she would have told me that, rather than just not sending me an invite and let me see all the fun pics / friends posts congratulating her online.

Right now I'm operating under the assumption that she didn't invite me because the guest list was small due to the small venue/lack of funds. So I'm just dealing with the pain of realizing I'm not as important to her as she is to me. But I haven't talked to her about it at all. She's on her honeymoon right now, and the last thing I want to do is bother her while she's off celebrating.

So I'm thinking it's just this sad situation where she's one of my best friends, but I'm only an acquaintance to her. It just sucks to be sad, so thanks for listening to my story and sending hugs. That really does help.

[guiltier65]

sorry SirenSong, I feel the hurt. Take care

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Sirensong18

Not being involved in her wedding, not even being invited - is really hurting my feelings today. I’d been doing so well with battling my depression lately, and I don’t want to slip back down into the blackness because of this heartache.

Thanks for listening.

Sorry to hear this!

Originally Posted by Sirensong18

Well, basically all I can do at this point is cut my losses and move on. Clearly she doesn't care about me anymore... or at least not enough to consider me important enough to be a part of her special day.

So tears cried, disappointment felt, and deep breath taken... I guess I'll just move on and try to focus more on improving the few friendships I still have.

Sounds like an excellent plan. I know it doesn't make the disappointment (& shock) any less awful but time heals as they say.... Her loss!