[Evaluna]

Things seemed to have been on the up a little bit for me recently and it was a strange feeling. But the last couple of days I haven't felt miserable, just angry. Really, really angry. My 7yo told me she was ill this morning and I let her take the day off because she seemed quite hot and out of sorts. What a mug am I?

She started getting giddy about an hour ago and I told her to get her school uniform on and I would take her back. Suddenly illness returns. Now school is over she is just being completely unreasonable and will not listen. The rational part of my head tells me she's just a kid, this is what they do, push your buttons, test the limits etc. The other part of me is literally incensed with rage. When she wouldn't listen I didn't even shout I just did that awful whisper in the face and slammed the door to my bedroom.

I can't cope with this depression and being a single mum alone. Everyone tells me to take a break but when I ask if someone can babysit for an hour everyone suddenly is busy. I feel like a total ***** now even though the worst I've done is over reacted and threw her sweets away for being rude and not listening. I'm just sick of it all.

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[elevatedsoul]

its so hard being a single mom...
especially when you are dealing with depression...

when i was a child i would do horrible things to get of school... i sometimes would pretend to be so sick that i would actually get sick... i would run away and hide in the top of trees... i would do what ever it took...
its because kid doesnt know whats good for them... if i could go back i would change how i beahved... i wasnt a bad kid, i just had my problems... i was actually a really sweet kind caring kid, but i didnt like being seperated from my mother and didnt want to be around a bunch of other kids...

kids will try to do what they can, if they think they can control you... you dont have to break bad and beat them (like what happen with me maybe..) and im not really sure exactly how you handle that situation, i hope someone else with more parental and maternal experience can come in and tell you some good advice...

i just wanted to let you know that you are an awesome person... trying to do the right thing for your daughter... keeping your self collected so well you know?

maybe you guys can do some counselling together and it would help...?

it sounds like you really do need to have a little break... you need to have some you time, time to treat yourself well... do something you really enjoy... and just take a load off... you have to do that every now and then or else it builds up ....

your not a mug... your not a bad parent, really (i cant say that i know you, but from sounds you arent bad..)

just awnna send love and good support to you... i tried to manipulate the situations when i was a little kid too... but maybe i was worse... but its hard on the kid too being seperated from family life, dont blame yourself or her... you both need to work together to geth through this ...

i dont have much good advice, i just want to give suportt....

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you're struggling, Evaluna. The Skeezyks would simply like to send his best wishes your way with the hope that you will be able to find a place of deep peace somewhere within...

[dexter]

Sorry you are struggling Evaluna. Sounds like you are a great mom finding the strength to be angry but keep yourself in check with your daughter. I do hope you have some safe avenue to express your anger. Sucks to have friends who want to help until the time comes when they can help then they disappear. That is frustrating. Hope you find a way to take a break and can continue to hang in there.

You did her a favor by tossing the sweets. She deserved it, anyway. Just sayin.

[Evaluna]

Thank you all for your supportive replies. Once we'd had some time in our own rooms and calmed down I talked to her.

I told her that because I have a lot of responsibilities I sometimes need a bit of help, so listening to me and doing what I've asked helps me a lot. She was exceptionally surprised to find her sweets in the bin but I will not be messed with.

A few months ago I realised how crap of a parent I was being. We were more like friends and there were very few boundaries, and when I gave a warning I never followed through with it. This was just ridiculous for both of us so if I decided that if I said something I meant it. I've stuck to my guns every single time and whilst at first I felt guilty, I actually quite like the fact that that what I'm doing is having an effect. So when I tell her last chance to go to bed or she gets no game time tomorrow, she knows I mean it. As kids do, she tries it with me every once in a while to see if she can get away with something but she can't. I once had her dvd player for a week!

I can generally deal with things but on a bad day it's like the world is ending. But today was another day and we've got through it with plenty of hugs and kisses so it's been a bonus. And I'll try again tomorrow. It's all I can do.

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