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#1
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I feel as if i'm in a bubble watching everyone around me experience life. I feel nothing except sadness, despair, and self hatred. Why am i still fighting this illness? no one gets it, They think i can just "put on my big girl panties" and keep going. I'm so tired. too much loss and death lately. too much pain. I've gone numb to stop the hurting. I look at all my friend's Facebook post with their great spring break pictures, while mine is spent at home, running errands for my morbidly obese parents. I don't resent this, but I'm tired.... I long for peace. I don't shower anymore because it takes too much effort. cooking.... no. cleaning.... no. seeing and talking to people.... not if I can avoid it> yet i feel so alone. want to cry, but i'm afraid if I start crying, i'll shatter into a million tiny pieces. I haven't had a drink in 21 days. Yay me. Doesn't feel like a victory, just something I do to please my family. I can honestly say, 'Stop the world, I want to get off.
sorry for the pathetic whining. This is my only outlet where I feel like I am understood. |
![]() Fuzzybear, Rohag
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#2
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i feel ya...
its so discouraging having everyone around you look at you like you need to just snap out of it... it should be obvious that if any of us could just snap out of it we would - we dont like living like this and definitely aren't choosing to go through these things... but "neurotypical" people cant fathom these things... im tired too but we have to keep moving forward... atleast keep fighting to keep our head above water.. i know nothing i can really say will make it any easier for you... just know that there are people in the world that get it and know what its like to go through those things and have to put up with everyone elses bull**** too... sober for 21 days is great, its not easy and im proud that you are trying to handle things without it.. you're stronger than you think you are ![]() ![]() im hear to listen to any kind of whining you want or need to do.. its not whining to me, just sometimes we need someone to talk to ![]()
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![]() guiltier65
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#3
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I do not find your post whiny; it is a good description of "life" with a particular illness. If anything, your post is not nearly long enough.
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![]() guiltier65
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#4
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![]() guiltier65
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