This Legal Case is Pulling me down

Hi there. I just want some advice about my situation.
I had a fight with a neighbor and she has threatened me that she is going to file a case against me. I have been so sick about this lately. I cannot concentrate from work and cannot take care of my kid. I find myself crying in bed and blaming myself. And thinking that this situation could lead to worst things. I already sought for a help with an attorney and she finds the incident not that big but how come I feel so down and depressed and nothing can ever bring me up back to my normal life. Please help

Hello & Welcome, Justpositive.
These are signs you probably could use some help. A first step might be to see your medical doctor and describe these and all other symptoms to them.

How long has this been going on?

Please make yourself at home here.

When you say she has threatened to "file a case against" you, do you mean that she has threatened to bring a civil suit against you or press criminal charges? What happened?

I understand how you feel. I'm going through some stuff now and going to family court. I messed up big time and took drugs a few weeks ago . I'm terrified they will do drug tests and find out then everything will be really messed up and I may think about taking my life because it won't be worth living. Why is life so hard ? What exactly happened with your neighbour ?

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This has been going on for a month now. I feel so weak and I only get refreshed after crying. I really don't know what to do as of now. I don't know where the pain is coming from. I can't keep up with my job nor can take care of my kid. My body gets numb and tired all the timw.

Yes she said that she will filw against me for grave oral defamation. We had a little fight and I was trying to fight back with words. I feel so down and I cannot forgive myself for being in this situation. Please advise

I had a fight with her and we exhanged words. She has done some bad things before and even have police blotter. I couldn't contain my emotion anymore a month ago so we fought just by words and she took a video of me saying some foul words. Now she has threatened to file grave oral defamation and there's no complaint yet but I feel just so sick being in this situation. Kindly help what to do.

What did the lawyer say? I am NOT a lawyer, but I believe "oral defamation" is when you say something bad about someone to "prejudice another in their reputation" to cause damage to their "business, trade, or livelihood"

In other words oral defamation, I believe, has nothing to do with you yelling foul language at her but would be if you went to a neighbor or someone else and said bad things about her to damage her reputation... furthermore there has to be damages for example your bad talking caused the neighbor to fire her as their babysitter or they no longer bought Avon products from her.

I do not believe "oral defamation" has anything at all to do with getting into a yelling argument with her and there are no lawsuits for "hurt feelings" only if you damaged her reputation in a business sense.

I think this person you fought with is full of crap and is just trying to scare you. Ask your lawyer about this... Hopefully it is not worth worrying about.

I get upset when I have an argument with someone... I'm not trying to invalidate being upset about the argument but trying to alleviate unnecessary worry about her bringing up a lawsuit.

i cant stand ******* that cry when things get too hot, if they dont want the heat then stay out of the kitchen....

you had every right to defend yourself or fight back if thats what you wanted to do, as long as you didnt assault anyone or slander in a way to compromise her profession or any public image i dont see how there is any problem... words between 2 people are just words... becomes a problem when you send out newsletters and flyers to everyone using those words instead of telling it to that person...

personally i probably would have assualted him her it and then cops could of been called...

In addition... ask your lawyer... As I said above I think it's not that she can't win oral defamation it is that this is not even close to a case of oral defamation.

I doubt she will even be able to successfully bring charges. However unfortunately I think it is possible to FILE charges for almost anything. But there are consequences to filing FRIVOLOUS charges, for example claiming defamation where the legal definition of defamation does not exist. So if she WERE to file charges against you, I think not only would she not have any case or chance to win anything or do anything other than cause you grief... But YOU would have a valid countersuit against her for punishment against filing frivolous charges against you. Again, ask your lawyer, but if this were to play out, you could possibly win a judgement of some cash against her. HA HA on her.

I agree with dexter. Don't waste any more energy worrying about this until you are actually served papers. Do not allow yourself to get worked up about it and risk somehow making the situation worse.

Hi Guys, Thanks for lifting up my spirit. The incident happened outside the house. I had to confront her and another neighbor who were fighting and yelling to each other because of the incense problem. When I saw that she was putting up incense again( which we asked her before to stop because it's really annoying and irritable and causes headache and breathing problems) that's when she started throwing fouls words to me. Like demon, no education, liar, ugly face and all. I was just fighting for my dignity that is why I had thrown back some fouls words to her. Not like I had an intention to ruin her reputation or something.

In my opinion she is bluffing... There is no way this calls for a legal case and if she were to call frivolous charges against you it would be your word against hers about who started it... the fact that she has video is self serving and wouldn't be given much weight, you could make the case that she goaded you into it just to record your end of the conversation.

I would say put your mind at ease and forget about it if you can, or at least try not to worry about it. The angry guy in me wants you to call her bluff LOL but that, I think, would not be the healthiest action FOR YOU... Just put it behind you as best you can. Try to avoid confrontations with her in the future... not for any legal worries, but just for your own peace of mind.

Thanks Dexter! Yes, I am trying my very best to just divert my mind from this crazy stuff. I think she is trying to scare me really. She has been spreading news already that she has a lawyer and I'm in a risky situation. lol I stopped crying because I looked like a mess already and couldn't take care of my kid. I just hope this would end. But I say, I would face whatever it is that she brings up.
Thank you for your support! I wish I could send you some sweet mangoes from here. hehe

Thank you for the very positive advice. I'm happy to have found this site. You guys are awesome.

what kind of case? people threaten to sue all the time but that means they have to pay an attorney $& for a case that's assuming 1) they actually have a legal case that fits under some law: issues, causation, damage. No damage, no case 2) that an attorney will take it 3) once taken, pay retainer 4) attorney will try to settle out of court or pursue the matter. that costs money: depositions, discovery, etc. plus cases rarely go to trial. attorneys like to settle, they're afraid of actually trials. at least that's what I've seen (I worked at a law office for 7 years , public defender 3 years, graduated law school) .

if it's small claims, still need a cause of action under the law, pay filing fee, present case...

you have to get through evidentiary hurdles.. have you looke at how log the evidence code for your state is? it's ridiculous and complex.

if it was a neighbor dispute I think neighbor said that out of anger but they can't do much. unless there's some kind of provable assault or battery even if there's clear trespass or nuisance . if the cops get called, you'll have an officer show up an hour later ask what happened.. if they didn't see Its happen they won't arrest unless it's domestic violence with proof of injury on site (ex boyfriend who used to be a cop told me that once) otherwise they'll say it's a civil matter and they have no jurisdiction. they don't, only state criminal.
people file police reports or can file restraining orders, need proof.

there's just so much that would need to happe that the lay person wouldn't want to bother to deal with.

just ignore it, ignore that person and don't beat yourself up for it.

someone with an actual lawyer representing them would never say that. one because the lawyer would advise against it , she's trying to scare you. I say Ignore but if you were going to call her bluff ask for her lawyers contact info. if so , say I'm shopping around and counsel wil need it... if she refuses to give it, she's lying. people are so willing to refer to the attorney if they actually have one bc they don't want to deal with the problem. you would have gotten a cease and desist letter of some kind. I haven't read the other posts but if she's harassing you just call the cop, say this person is threatening me (if she is) , trespassing (if she is) I've asked her to leave my property (if you said that ) and she seems unstable (if she's yelling or something) cop wil show up.. take a report, grab the report #. start a paper trail.
we had an office neighbor guy who was just threatening us for some property line dispute and he started harassing us, yelling, throwing over our trash cans. . we called the cops so many times and made so many reports that the cops got irritated and had stalk with the guy, he lost credibility bc of that and at the end he is the one that appeared crazy (which he was) , this if my attorney boss would ever want to sue or if he got sued over this dispute, bam! potentially admissible character evidence or evidence for a different purpose but that realistically put guy in bad light.

if she ever confronts you or harasses .. I would just calmly tell her, you're bothering me and i will call the cop on you if you don't stop threatening me. and follow up wit it . you hVe the right to be left alone.

oral defamation? sh doesn't even have the cause of action right.. is defamation period . 2 types slander or libel (oral or written) those are some of the hardest cases to prove bc you need to prove that your reputation is damaged .. you can't get hired at jobs, your business got affected, your credibility at work or with the community got shot.. and the burden in some states is on them to prove defamation. that costs $$$$. plus truth is a defense. oh my god.. defamation... yeah... I'm Rolling my eyes not at you. at your neighbor. I can't even imagine neighbor shopping around telling that story to the attorney. those from the attorneys perspective would have warning bells, as in.. is this person crazy? does she/he have a cause of action? what if she becomes unrealistically dissatisfied with my work, so I have a malpractice case ? this person is quick to want to sue, etc. sorry you're dealing with someone unstable.

exchanging heated words wouldn't be enough .. it would have to be a defamatory statement communicated to a 3rd party. you can call her a B all you want or say that's she's dumb or stupid or crazy.. that's your opinion.

it's when you accuse of untrue things that cause damage to their reputation .. like you tell someone other than her that she has an STD or that she molests kids (it's a dark example but I'm illustrating what would be defamatory)

even if she records you.. that's just counter to defamation bc now she's preserving the statement. and if she shows it to people well then she's "defaming" herself ? but then she can accuse you of doing it? but she's distributing it.. you see how lame that is from a legal perspective?
you have the right to defend against the harassment

I'm not sure where you are but here are the instructions for defamation: https://www.justia.com/trials-litiga...1700/1705.html
as you can see, it's not a piece of cake to get through proving the elements. I think the neighbor is full of hot air

Well, you've got the incident covered by talking it over with an attorney, but I think you also need to see a doctor regarding your feelings of being sick, down, depressed, unable to concentrate, and not able to take care of you or your kid, and laying in bed crying and blaming yourself ...

These are serious concerns that don't need to be taken lightly!

Please contact your physician and ask for a referral to a counselor to help you work through these feelings ... It might take a little while, but with the right help, you won't have to continue feeling like you'll never be able to return to a "normal" life.

Also, if at all possible for you to move, that might not be a bad idea as bad neighbors can certainly create a lot of heartache for the people unfortunate enough to have to live around them. If it isn't possible to move then avoid this toxic creature as much as possible and try to stay out of her line of fire!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

Thank you so much, guys! I have been trying to cope with the situation. There are just times when I remember and I feel weak and cry. There are moments that I feel strong and angry and I tell myself to fight for my rights.

I just really want to feel good and have no worries in my heart. Any suggestions?

Tap into those strong moments. Remember what they feel like when they occur. Associate them with a small object, like a worrystone or a marble or keychain and keep that object in your pocket. Try to be mindful when the weak times come... Pull out that object and rub it and remember your strength and remember anything helpful you've learned here about the legal stuff.

Also the more legal advice you can get if you are talking to a lawyer the more confidence you may build that this woman has no real hold over you in terms of suing you other than to try to scare you. Sounds like she is just trying to keep you scared and trying to stay dominant in this situation with a lot of BS. The more you can expose that BS the less power she will have to make you feel scared.

If she is to try to pursue this ask your lawyer if i am correct that you might sue her for bringing about a frivolous lawsuit. If I'm right, turn that around on her, stretch the truth, and tell her that you're filing a lawsuit against her for harassment and a restraining order. Maybe you could even get someone to draft a legal letter to her, wonder if that would put the fear into her and shut her up.

Thank you, Dexter. That means a lot to me.

I thought I have already let go of my anger towards this person but not. A neighbor came to me and said she was asked by this person to testify that I have spread bad stuff about her. Why would she do that???? I'm not that kind of person who does those things and plus what is her purpose of doing all of these? For money or to hurt me? The neighbor added that she will pursue the case. I hope the fiscal/court people are wise enough to see that all of these are fraud.

It's really crazy! I'm wondering what she'll do next...