[passionfruit3]

I self harmed with a blade on my chest I got the ideal from reading something online we're someone cut there genitals and chest I'm afraid my mom's going to find out Wednesday cause I messaged my therapist and she's going to break confidentiality . I can't stop self harming cause of my anxiety and my anxiety is so high cause I've thought of suicide but I can't. Tell. Any of this to my therapist I don't want. To go back to the hospital. I hate it there and I don't. Know. Why I sent that note cause it means I have to lie to get myself out of trouble.

Sent from my LGMS659 using Tapatalk

[MtnTime2896]

Maybe you shouldn't lie. Maybe you should be honest with your mom and therapist about this sort of thing. Will you end up in a hospital, you could. I'm about to go back there, I'm not happy about it but I know I need it. Maybe you could go to a different hospital or something. At least get medication or stabilize medication for a few days. Every now and then, honesty will save you. Trust me, I self-harm (in my own way) and I can honestly tell you that I'm suicidal. I wasn't ready to leave the hospital when I did and I understand that now. I understand that I'm still messed up and a hair trigger away from doing something really impulsive. I'm going back because I'm desperate for help and a way out that doesn't involve breaking my fiance's heart.
Best of luck to you, I hope that you'll get better.

[passionfruit3]

There are several problems with that my mom says if I go back to the hospital she won't get paid since she's taking care of me and she can't afford the rent also If I go I don't want to go back to the same hospital and be stuck on the worst unit cause I know how I am they'll put me there for not. Controlling my behavior and its terrible people screaming getting drugged walking around naked wiping themselves on furniture. So I want to go to a different hospital but I don't think I can decide.plus I found out if I'm stuck for mire than three weeks they'll kick me off disability and it was so hard getting on in the first place so I really don't know what to do but lie

Sent from my LGMS659 using Tapatalk

[elevatedsoul]

need to try to discover what triggers the urges/actions...
when you start noticing which things are making you want to do that then you try to change those things into different reasons why you shouldn't do it...

sometimes its a cry for help and we just want to get better/feel better...
but we have to know that its only compounding the problem, the reason that is making us do those things... and try to resolve it through healthier methods..

it can be really difficult though because it turns into an addiction... thats why its best to resolve it as soon as possible so it doesnt get worse..