[ak482]

My birthday is in 10 days, and it's another milestone of failure. I will be 34, and will have the wonderful following items:

- never had sex (never had any intimacy period)
- still financially dependent (yes I work but bills etc)
- still painfully introverted
- have interests that aren't interesting to people (studying Richard Nixon, fascination with electoral processes, finding truly weird stories, etc)
- screw up something every day or choose to be an idiot

I know my mother won't want me to say it, but I wish I was never born. I can only talk to my therapist about item #1 on this list because it's so intimate and degrading. I have so much pain & anxiety that even meds aren't helping. I pray for it to end immediately.

I feel like I have one year to fix this or else I have no choice but to leave this world and make it better for everyone on the whole.

[elevatedsoul]

i dunno if it make you feel any better..
probably not but i have never been intimate with anyone either... in any kind of way, it scares me a little... but i guess i just have trust issues :/

i would like a first kiss some day, but i would probably wreck that in some horrible way

it does make you feel a little insignificant... but it doesnt mean the world would be better off without you... being introverted is tough, but it doesnt mean we are less than...

look at this ( i dont know much about famous actors and stuff because im not real big on that kind of stuff but i guess this is accurate..?)
30 Famous Introverts - Actors, Actresses, Talk Show Hosts

Famous Introverted Actresses
Candice Bergen, actress, writer, photographer
Ingrid Bergman, actress
Ellen Burstyn, actress
Glenn Close, actress
Audrey Hepburn, actress
Helen Hunt, actress
Diane Keaton, actress
Grace Kelly, actress
Jessica Lange, actress
Laura Linney, actress
Gwyneth Paltrow, actress
Michelle Pfeiffer, actress
Julia Roberts, actress
Meg Ryan, actress
Meryl Streep, actress

Famous Introverts – Actors
Clint Eastwood, actor/director
Harrison Ford, actor
Tom Hanks, actor
Sir Alfred Hitchcock, film director
Jack Lemmon, late actor
Bill Macy, actor
Steve Martin, all around talented guy
Noah Wiley, actor

Other Famous Introverts

Johnny Carson, former Tonight Show host
Jane Clayson, host of CBS Morning Show
Matt Lauer, co-host on the Today Show
David Letterman, host of the David Letterman Show
Diane Sawyer, co-host of ABC’s Good Morning America
Barbara Walters, host of 20/20

[DechanDawa]

Happy Birthday in advance. I think someone who studies Richard Nixon rather interesting. I would probably ask you if you know everything about Watergate because I was there when all that came down but not paying much attention because I was young and more interested in sex and how I could make that happen. It sounds like you are interested in intimacy...so isn't that a good sign? Better than apathy. If you have someone to be dependent on if you need help financially, that is also good. Truly weird stories...doesn't everyone love them? Daily screw ups...at least you know you make them. What annoys me is when people don't know they have screwed up. I would say if you check out early the world would be a bit less colorful. I will contact you 10 days before my birthday with my sad list so you can help me dispute it. I think I must be much more narcissistic than you because I just buy myself gifts on my birthday. This year...I plan on vanilla musk perfume from The Body Shop. I am not trying to make light of your pain. I know so very well how you feel. I wish someone would come along and tell me that the world would be a little less colorful if I check out early. I also know about goals...the major one being...I have one year to fix this. I know that one well. So...yeah...you are are both depressed and hopeless...but also hopeful. Maybe this year write a letter to your future self. That was something I thought of doing. Sometimes we have to keep living for no other reason but to honor the fact there is a future self out there. Hugs and best wishes.

[DechanDawa]

I remember once in my long life it turned the new year and I said I absolutely had to meet someone and become intimate with them within the year. I didn't meet anyone for...about eleven years! Now that's in the past and I am like, sex, meh, if it happens it happens. It's weird that wishing on it won't make it happen. But working on your own life makes it fit into the picture when it does happen. Wishing everyone first kisses! Yes. But in their own time, because that's how they work anyway, the little devils...I mean...angels!

birthdays are always tough for me.

just 1 big guilt trip

so sorry about how you're feeling.. just know that everyone is diffrent, and if we all liked the same stuff- life would be so boring

and weird stories can be fun (especially news stories)

shocking sometimes to read what people do

[Fuzzybear]

[dagg]

I did not have sex till I was 37 married for 11 years no intimacy since.52 now

[elevatedsoul]

i dont celebrate birthdays or holidays...
whats the difference from any other day...

[ak482]

I am in major financial crisis right now I hurt too much. I don't deserve a celebration.

Financial crisis or not, find a way to treat yourself on your day . . . Baskin Robbins offers you a free birthday scoop (mint chocolate, perhaps?), watch a funny video, check out a new Nixon book at the library, feed the ducks. Many museums offer free admission midweek. Or,maybe do something nice for your mom if the relationship is good.

So sorry things aren't better for you right now.