Alone and desperate

How can I live in a house with four other people (wife, two teenagers and one teenager's friend), two dogs and two cats and still feel so desperately alone? I feel like I am coming unglued inside but I can't say anything. My wife knows about my situation and depression, but has limited patience and interest. What am I going to say to her anyway? She's heard it all already and I don't want to be a constant drag on her.

I'm 64 years old, stuck in a dead-end but well-paying job that has me stuck at home most of the time. A lot of time there is little to nothing to do and when there is something to do, I find it almost intolerably boring. I'm not asking for solutions or advice; I just want to vent. I see a pdoc and a therapist and have recently joined a men's therapy group. I am on meds. I exercise and meditate. I have all those bases covered.

I feel like there is nothing to look forward to in life. Retirement is not a possibility right now, but even if it were, it is not the answer. More idleness and feelings of uselessness? Please. I desperately need a feeling of purpose and meaning.

Sorry for the rant. Thanks for reading.

Don't give up hope that the key to your happiness isn't out there. I'm 47, married with a teenage son at home and there are times when I feel very alone.

Keep up the therapy. Hopefully the group will help too.

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It sounds like you are doing a lot of things right. I hope joining the therapy group helps. Just don't give up.

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Thanks. I am doing what I know to do. Right now things are difficult because I can't seem to concentrate on anything. I try to start a book and can't focus. I tried to read a newspaper supplement on retirement and couldn't handle it. At my age I have no time to waste and yet I seem to be wasting a great deal of it.