(RANT) Tired of the never ending stigma of the mentally ill

I completely agree that while things have gotten better since the 19th and 20th century, I don't see the stigma against the mentally ill disappearing from the baby boomer generation especially, and even among millennials.

I am so stressed out from school, being bullied (this is going my 12th year being friendless and ostracized by all my peers yay) and the stress of being in one of the hardest high school programs there are, and feeling isolated and irritable all the time just gets to me, and that's normal considering I have undiagnosed symptoms of major depression, have previously self-harmed, has held a bottle of pills wanting to end it all before. I am textbook mentally unstable. So instead of getting support from family and friends? What do I get?

Disappointment, anger and hate directed at me. Not once has anyone ever asked me if I was okay, because if I'm not smiling, people steer clear of me as if I am contagious. My parents say I complain too much, look for sympathy, and that I am attention seeking and that if I cannot handle school, I should drop out.

That is the most ignorant comment I have ever heard, considering they know of my mental illness but keep telling me that if I take multivitamins (I already take 4 a day plus some) that I will be magically healed.

When my parents found out that I self harmed, they took all my electronics away because apparently "I got the idea from the internet" and my dad said and I quote that I am "not as smart as I thought you were". Again just like with school comment, when does depression equate to stupidity?!

I tried telling my doctor I was suicidal, my mom chimed in all panicky saying "NO it's just school no no she doesn't know what she's talking about". So now, any time I try to mention it again to my doctor he doesn't take me seriously, so no diagnosis is possible.

My parents see that I'm sad, ask what's wrong, I tell them, they call me selfish and spoiled and attention seeking. Like you asked, I told you the truth, and I get PUNISHED for it.

My classmates take my silence and off-putting attitude as rudeness instead of anxiety, stress, and simply refusal to answer their nosy questions about "why were you away the other day".

I'm so sick and tired of being treated like I'm worthless and weak and not human because of everyone sweeping my issues under the rug, and leaving me to handle it myself in silence for fear of being a burden. That is why people take their lives, because no one wants to care.

The stigma is real and isn't going away any time soon

You sound just like me when I was a teenager. That's when my mental health started. You are facing all the struggles I faced. I was undiagnosed for many years too. I'm sorry for what you are going through . I'm sorry that your parents and peers don't get you. I would go back to the doctors alone and maybe ask to see a different doctor. Keep posting here! We are here for you

: hugs

~ Sophie

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Does your school have a counselor you can talk with? One you can tell your story to, including how your parents are reacting and tainting your GP's opinion. If there isn't a counselor, I would suggest looking for a place that offers mental health services in your community.
It is difficult for people to understand mental illness. As an adult, I was constantly challenged by my siblings... "why are you still taking medications", "why are still seeing a therapist", "you need to change therapists", ... They didn't get it until I was put on suicide watch during a hospitalization and had to undergo ECT treatments to get me out of that dark place.
Depression is misunderstood. It is the 9th leading cause of death, but isn't studied like other illnesses. That needs to change. People need to be educated as well.
I wish you well in your pursuit of help. Keep looking until you find someone.

Reading this takes me back, I had the same problems. My mom was so hard on me and always dissapointed. I didn't understand depression then. Now I have raised two children on my own and I have a perspective from both sides and I just want to say that your parents are probably doing the best they can, if they have not experienced depression themselves they just have no idea what to do. We all deserve people who understand but I think only those who have been there get it. Take care of yourself but just know they might be scared and not know what to do. I wish you the best