[Der_Sohn_des_Leides]

I'm a bit alarmed about the amount of apathy I've been exhibiting recently. I am a huge fan of heavy metal music. It's one of my greatest passions in my free time. However, I'm going to a concert tomorrow night--featuring one of the first metal bands I ever heard, who are partly responsible for my love of metal--and I don't feel the least bit excited. On top of that, I'm going to be seeing my college friends after the concert, those I consider my true friends, and it doesn't bring any joy into my heart knowing I'll soon be in their company again.

I realize that this is one of the major symptoms of depression, namely losing interest in those things that one once loved, but I haven't been this apathetic for several years. I don't know what to do. I also feel like a hypocrite since a few hours ago I was trying to give advice to some people on pc about this very issue.

Ugh, I don't know what to do... I think I'm just going to try what I used to do when I got like this: just dive right into those activities without any expectations and see what happens. 99% of the time, I come out having enjoyed it, so I hope it'll work this time. I just don't know what to do in the meantime. I think it's partly because I've been so alone for so long that I'm feeling like this: being away from people seems to drain the humanity out of me. So hopefully this will change tomorrow. Sorry for the rambling, I just really needed to get that out.

J

[insidious]

i think youre right about just keeping going. A lot of times if you force yourself to do stuff it kind of goes away and you have fun. At least for a little while. I can relate.

I like metal too. Can I ask what concert?!

[nightbird]

You, my Dear Person, are sensitive and humane.

you will try to behave in the best manner possible at any occasion.

there is no way you will mess up. you hear me.

you might even pass on anything that makes you feel vulnerable.

if you are worried, do not go.

that is the adult in you talking.

nothing like buying CD's.

love.
nightbird




love,
nightbird

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((( J ))))))))))))
I went through something similar a few days ago. I wasn't looking forward to it at all, in fact I was dreading it. But I forced myself to go, and had a good time. Hoping for the same for you

Also, you aren't a hypocrite, you're far too self aware and honest

[Der_Sohn_des_Leides]

Thanks, everyone. (((((((((hugs)))))))))

I'm going to go take a walk; that usually improves my mood. Plus, while I'm walking I can listen to the music that I'll be hearing tonight and hopefully that'll get me excited! By the way, the concert is Dethklok and Chimaira (Chimaira was the band I as referring to in my last post).

Thanks for the support,



J

I had that happen last year. My favorite band was on a US tour and I got tickets to 4 of their concerts around the country. I was going to fly, spend a few days in those cities, see my band, be away from work. But for some reason at the last minute I just decided not to go. Just didn't care. Stopped listening to them completely for six months.

Six months later they were in my town and I went and had a great time and I've been listening to them again since. Not sure what happened in that six months, the whole deal just sort of fell out of favor with me. Can't explain it and nothing else was weird or different in that time.

So, yeah, I understand. Hope you went and had a good time. Music is one of my weaknesses.

Xando

[Der_Sohn_des_Leides]

I did go and I had a great time!

There's just something so cathartic about moshing to good music; it's absolute abandon, nothing else matters except for that moment, no problems, no future, no past: just that moment. I really needed that. Plus I got to see two of my good college friends and had a lot of fun with them. The only thing painful about all this is it was so temporary and fleeting... but such is life, and I'm learning more and more how to deal with that.

Thanks everyone,



J