This morning I happened to watch the youtube video: Brené Brown: Listening to shame (

)
It triggered the following thoughts for me: Now that I'm not as depressed, I occasionally have brief moments were I think "Should I reach out to _____ (a neighbor, old high school or college friend on facebook, parent one of my children's high school friends, etc.). Of course, when you are depressed, you just can't. Depression doesn't allow it. I've lost touch with many because my last bout of depression lasted for about 7 years. Now I feel more connected when I converse with people (whether my spouse or the cashier at my favorite grocery store) but find I have a new problem. SHAME.. I mean, I'm lucky, my family accepts what I've done and what little I have to offer, but my attempt and lack of any career (while I work a little part time, I'm faced with completely starting over in order to have any sort of self sufficiency), are a couple of things that make it hard to reach out. And sometimes, the only way to get a hold of people is facebook you know, I really hate facebook. Haven't been on it for years and the only reason I did was to track down a few friends from high school and college. People on facebook are always having fantastic vacations (can't afford one), their children are perfect and they get everyone in their family to participate in group photos.
I really don't care that I can't vacation nor do I like to take or see my photos --- I am extremely grateful to be alive and not as depressed --- I guess I'm just trying to get up the courage to make more connections despite being ashamed of my past. Anyone else experiencing the urge to connect but too fearful to do it due to your past?

Yes ... And,

In addition to carrying their shame, I also find it extremely difficult to have hope, trust, faith or belief in anyone or anything ...

Including myself ... !!!

[Fuzzybear]

[little turtle]

Originally Posted by Mysterious153

This morning I happened to watch the youtube video: Brené Brown: Listening to shame (

)
It triggered the following thoughts for me: Now that I'm not as depressed, I occasionally have brief moments were I think "Should I reach out to _____ (a neighbor, old high school or college friend on facebook, parent one of my children's high school friends, etc.). Of course, when you are depressed, you just can't. Depression doesn't allow it. I've lost touch with many because my last bout of depression lasted for about 7 years. Now I feel more connected when I converse with people (whether my spouse or the cashier at my favorite grocery store) but find I have a new problem. SHAME.. I mean, I'm lucky, my family accepts what I've done and what little I have to offer, but my attempt and lack of any career (while I work a little part time, I'm faced with completely starting over in order to have any sort of self sufficiency), are a couple of things that make it hard to reach out. And sometimes, the only way to get a hold of people is facebook you know, I really hate facebook. Haven't been on it for years and the only reason I did was to track down a few friends from high school and college. People on facebook are always having fantastic vacations (can't afford one), their children are perfect and they get everyone in their family to participate in group photos.
I really don't care that I can't vacation nor do I like to take or see my photos --- I am extremely grateful to be alive and not as depressed --- I guess I'm just trying to get up the courage to make more connections despite being ashamed of my past. Anyone else experiencing the urge to connect but too fearful to do it due to your past?

I just listened to the ted talk by brene brown....thanks for sharing...
I want to share everything about me and my breakdowns....
but I am afraid that they will not like me anymore...
I am afraid that I will be laughed at and torn down by others..
I have a terrible fear about this...I just want to be loved for who I am...

[BrazenApogee]

I love the Brene Brown and hate the Book of Fake Faces too.

[Sula B]

Facebook - the last resort to be the centre of attention for the middle aged woman. I tried Facebook and very quickly realised that there were so many middle aged women who's lives are pure hell because their neighbour's dog barks too much, their car broke down... once, or the woman across the road looks at them funny. Not to mention their amazing holidays, families, homes, jobs, the food they cook and the list goes on. Could not be bothered.

As for keeping in touch, that's a 2 way street and I realised some years ago that certain people did not keep in contact with me and there must have been a reason for that. Others did and there's a reason for that too. Plus there are some people you can go without seeing for years and when you catch up it feels like no time has passed at all and there's a reason for that too.