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#1
Jun 16, 2016, 09:04 PM
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There's this one ventriloquist/comedian that my wife I said if he ever comes to town we want to go see him. Well he is coming & we bought some tickets. The event/concert is Saturday night. The closer it gets the more nervous & anxious I get about it. I'm to the point now where I'd rather just stay home. She has a friend that can go with her but she wants me to go. How do I tell her I really don't want to go without it coming across as if it's something I want to do I will find a way to do, but if it's something she wants to do then I'm not interested. I have never been to a concert of any type. I just do t like large groups of people.
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 elevatedsoul, Fuzzybear
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#2
Jun 16, 2016, 09:26 PM
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I think you should tell her what you wrote here, that you are nervous and anxious and don't like large groups of people. Maybe she can help you and support you enough that you will be able to go anyways.
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 Humpty Dumpty
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#3
Jun 16, 2016, 09:26 PM
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I would be honest with her. Tell her you want her to have fun but you are having a lot of anxiety about the crowds and can't deal with it. You can tell her you would like her to take her friend and have a fun night because you know she wants to go. You should tell her it's because of the crowds and anxiety and not because of her.
__________________
"Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy." |
| Humpty Dumpty
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#4
Jun 16, 2016, 10:08 PM
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I agree with everyone above. Tell her exactly what you posted here.
 --Ceara1010
__________________
Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. -Ernest Shackleton |
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#5
Jun 17, 2016, 02:55 AM
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Surely, the truth is going to hurt a little but still this is way better than going and showing no interest and after that probably having an argument.
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#6
Jun 17, 2016, 03:01 AM
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Quote:
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| Rohag
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#7
Jun 17, 2016, 08:14 AM
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__________________
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#8
Jun 17, 2016, 02:51 PM
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Quote:
__________________
My dog  mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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#9
Jun 17, 2016, 03:51 PM
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If she loves you, she won't mind. I'm wouldn't mind if my partner or loved one did this, provided they explained why and gave me enough time to find someone else to go with.
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#10
Jun 17, 2016, 03:56 PM
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im the same way... i dont do anything because of this
unless i end up turning to my old friend alcohol... or pop a few benzos... or some pills... or smoke a ton of pot... or all of the above... which even when i do those things i end up being like just staying home and to myself anyway because really dont feel like doing anything anyway .. i would just be honest, 'you know how much i want to see this, but i am so anxious... the crowd will be so big... and i just dont think i can do it...'
__________________
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#11
Jun 17, 2016, 03:57 PM
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Quote:
Have you talked about your discomfort in crowds with your wife before? If so, I would think she would understand. If you are anxious that she will be mad anyway--you know, the "you never want to do what I want to do" thing--maybe you can plan something with her right then that she would like to do that won't include crowds. Maybe have one of those free papers with your city's upcoming events handy so you can look at it together. That way you can demonstrate right then and there that you are indeed flexible about what kind of plans the two of you make together, and that you do care about how she feels about this. (If I'm worried I'm going to make someone angry, it usually helps me to have a plan ready to diffuse the situation--particularly if I'm unsure of what their reaction will be.) --Ceara1010
__________________
Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. -Ernest Shackleton |
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#12
Jun 18, 2016, 12:13 AM
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So I texted her (I'm at work) and told her I don't think I can go. I said she should take her friend instead. I haven't heard anything back. I think I just really screwed up. No matter what I do I can't do anything right.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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