Severe Existential Depression. What to do?

I have such a difficult time thinking positively about myself and the world. I view everything in negativity no matter the circumstances. I have been cynical and jaded for as long as I can remember. I rarely crack a smile, I take life way too seriously, I think too much. How can one remove the negativity from ones thoughts? I find most people superficial, trite, unoriginal, bland, and un-creative. I find most people have a flock of sheep-mentality -- nothing but mindless chatter and trivial banter. I find it rare to seek an authentic human being with original and intellectual thoughts. How can one stream through life without questioning their existence? How can one go through life with just the mentality of marriage, children, work, and block-buster flicks. I cannot comprehend this. Critical thinking and open-mindedness is so important -- the pinnacle of human nature, I think. Sorry if I sound like I'm going slightly mad, but this world is full of sheep. How can I stop judging people, common people, and start looking at life more positively. I cannot enjoy the simple things. I have tried therapy, meds, exercise, and doctors, and nothing seems to work. All I see is a bleak outline, a bleak horizon. There is no pleasure in this world. How can you connect with robots that do not think? We life in a world of bloody ignorance and anti-intellectualism.

What has worked for you, folks? How do you keep your sanity, how do you enjoy the mindless banter? How can one stop over-analyzing. I tend to treat conversations like dessert -- always wanted to be intellectually stimulated; to the point of exhaustion. How can I enjoy small talk and non-intellectual things as well?

DBT therapy worked for me. I still don't enjoy banal conversations but I am more empowered to seek out stimulating conversations. It helped me find pleasure again. It directly helps with the over analyzing. One of my issues going in was that I didn't WANT to find a way to just be OK with the banality and the personal issues I was having. That's not what happened, I was able to achieve some balance in my life. I'm newly "graduated" from this but so far it seems to be really positive for me. It required a lot of work though.

Hi, I'm a mindless sheep.

When you say "existential depression", I think of crushing anxiety and hopelessness regarding the human condition - either meaninglessness, materialism, or the perceived badness and evil of other people. I never had any of these thoughts until I was about 18 or 19, then they only kicked in hard in the last year or so (I just turned 22 last week), and I didn't even develop them independently - I found a site full of people who did have these concerns, and I just kind of...joined in, thinking about them for myself. I'm not on that site anymore though, partially because being introduced to this side of human thought causes me so much anxiety, but because the quality of people there was really declining.

Anyway, these heavy problems constantly invaded my thoughts, and I could only really find solace in mindless things, or in daydreaming that totally removed me from any reality. The internet did help me though - that's really your best bet to find people whom you can talk to. My problem (which meds have helped so far) was rethinking issues even after I hashed out solutions with others, or by myself. A lack of self-trust.

Thing is, I'm normal. I'm not gifted or particularly intelligent. I'm no longer sure what constitutes "mindless banter", because I couldn't give less of a fcuk about marriage, kids, celebrity news, or any of that. Yet I'm not naturally a critical thinker, and probably never would have questioned my existence had I not stumbled on an internet community. I guess I operate in a weird midpoint between those two modes of being. I'm pretty removed from most of what happens in the world, honestly. I tend to not be too interested in discussing typically intellectual things (I have an obsession with personality psychology, and I'm toying with the idea of starting to write), but I have nothing to say to people who want to talk about stuff going on in their lives.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess both of us need lives - actually doing things, rather than just thinking or, in my case, daydreaming. It's supposed to allow for more opportunities for connection with others.

Also, there's hope for the sheep. I snapped out of it, and I know I actually am boring, trite, and uncreative.

You're interesting. Don't try to get me understand you though.

This might help or not. Comedians.

This kinda reminds me of the weird laughing therapy from somewhere, I think it was Korean. Creepy ****. Forced laugh and fake smiles, ridiculous.

I like smart people, looking forward to seeing you expressing more on this site. Have a intellectually awesome day.

ETA: Can the production of the tv series Grey's Anatomy ever be justified? BIG question that I won't probably ever get into. You can do that right? And that's super amazing as you as a person.