[SarahSweden]

I have a lot of worries and anxiety around whether to continue seeing my T or not. I´ve seen her for about half a year now and now we have a summer break for some weeks. I don´t feel any better and I haven´t made any improvements in my life. I´ve managed to study during this six months but I don´t think that was because of therapy and I don´t feel more strength or other improvements.

Because of depression I think part of it is not to give in and on the other hand I often feel my T isn´t the right one. I foremost miss more of an emotional support and I´ve tried several times to tell my T how I like therapy to be but you can´t change how someone is.

As I will be without therapy if I end this current therapy I´m not sure what to do. I can´t pay out of my own pocket and my T has also said earlier on that she doesn´t know what I can do. For me it´s nothing about having insurance, I´m within Swedish public health care, and when referred to one clinic others won´t just accept you just because you want to change therapist.

I´m not sure how to think, just spending time in a therapy that I feel doesn´t give any improvements is just making me feel worse. At the same time, with no therapy at all I´ll perhaps get even worse.

[BlossomingLen]

Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you!

I don't think you should continue to see this T. You don't have to make the change right now. You should when it's the right time and when you have the money to do so. Sometimes T's do go through different methods that contrast against other T's. That's just how they prefer to work. So, you should find a T that works in the way that you prefer. I know that may take time and I understand that some people aren't financially ready to just switch T's immediately or need time to adjust and that's fine.

But yes, I do recommend switching to a different T. You might start to see improvement after that!

Either way, I hope you feel better soon. Have a wonderful day!

[Michigan1966]

After 6 mos. you should be seeing "some" improvements of some kind. If they are the only person you can see, then maybe continue, but hopefully you can try to get in with someone else. Maybe ask around, get some recommendations?
Does your country offer any type of support groups?
Try getting a book(s) to help you work through some of your issues. I just got one called Feeling Good which includes worksheets and projects to work through.
I think there are also online therapy sessions if you could try that.
At the very least, there are online forums and chats, but I think you probably need a bit more than that?
Best luck on your search to get feeling better.

[Fizzyo]

Originally Posted by SarahSweden

I have a lot of worries and anxiety around whether to continue seeing my T or not. I´ve seen her for about half a year now and now we have a summer break for some weeks. I don´t feel any better and I haven´t made any improvements in my life. I´ve managed to study during this six months but I don´t think that was because of therapy and I don´t feel more strength or other improvements.

Because of depression I think part of it is not to give in and on the other hand I often feel my T isn´t the right one. I foremost miss more of an emotional support and I´ve tried several times to tell my T how I like therapy to be but you can´t change how someone is.

As I will be without therapy if I end this current therapy I´m not sure what to do. I can´t pay out of my own pocket and my T has also said earlier on that she doesn´t know what I can do. For me it´s nothing about having insurance, I´m within Swedish public health care, and when referred to one clinic others won´t just accept you just because you want to change therapist.

I´m not sure how to think, just spending time in a therapy that I feel doesn´t give any improvements is just making me feel worse. At the same time, with no therapy at all I´ll perhaps get even worse.

Hi SarahSweden,

I'm sorry to hear of your dilemma. As someone who uses the British NHS I understand the dilemma where you seem to have to take who you're referred to. Does your clinic have more than one therapist like yours?
In the NHS if you are in the secondary service (you have a psychiatrist who may oversee medication and others in the team such as psychologist nurse social worker etc) you can ask to change the main person coordinating or providing your care if you feel the relationship isn't working, just as they can recommend a change too if they feel they personally can't meet your needs. After all you can't get on with everyone.

Have you asked about your options from the clinic, not your T?
When my relationship with my care coordinator broke down I was allocated to a new one.
I was scared it might affect my care, but it seemed to be ok.

In primary care (family doctor level) there is a bit of provision under NHS but less intensive.

The other thing to consider is whether you feel worse after therapy because you have talked about something painful but which needs to be expressed/experienced in order to be able to get past it, but six months is a fairly good time to evaluate.

I'm sorry I can't help more, you are the only one who can really know what is good for you.

Is it worth discussing it with your referring doctor who referred you to that clinic?
If s/he thinks it appropriate they may be able to do something (not knowing your system).

I tend to take the attitude that if it's offered and it might help I will do it in the hope of benefit, but it is a shame to continue something that isn't helping when you could feel more independent.

Maybe how you get on through the summer break will give you a slight answer?

I wish you all the wisdom and luck as you decide what to do.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks and thanks for the "positive bunny". A pleasure to meet you too.

The thing is I can´t wait until I have money enough to pay a T, I live on welfare as I´m unemployed and I´m unemployed partly because of depression and other mental health problems. It´s a "catch 22".

Originally Posted by BlossomingLen

Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you!

I don't think you should continue to see this T. You don't have to make the change right now. You should when it's the right time and when you have the money to do so. Sometimes T's do go through different methods that contrast against other T's. That's just how they prefer to work. So, you should find a T that works in the way that you prefer. I know that may take time and I understand that some people aren't financially ready to just switch T's immediately or need time to adjust and that's fine.

But yes, I do recommend switching to a different T. You might start to see improvement after that!

Either way, I hope you feel better soon. Have a wonderful day!

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. Unfortunately it isn´t that much about recommendations as I´m within public health care and you more or less just get a referall without any choice and even that is often very hard to get.

I read quite a lot and I´ve tried on my own as well but now a lot depends on a good T and that makes me worried, sad and disappointed.

Originally Posted by Michigan1966

After 6 mos. you should be seeing "some" improvements of some kind. If they are the only person you can see, then maybe continue, but hopefully you can try to get in with someone else. Maybe ask around, get some recommendations?
Does your country offer any type of support groups?
Try getting a book(s) to help you work through some of your issues. I just got one called Feeling Good which includes worksheets and projects to work through.
I think there are also online therapy sessions if you could try that.
At the very least, there are online forums and chats, but I think you probably need a bit more than that?
Best luck on your search to get feeling better.

[Nammu]

Could it possibly be that your continued grief over your former T is stopping you from healing? Maybe you need more time to process that loss? Why don't you wait and see how you do though the summer break and then talk to your T about how it went. If your both agreed that you did well and seem not affected you could decide at that time to discontinue.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks and thanks for sharing your story. No, my clinic has only this T and that´s what makes it even more difficult. Here they don´t cooperate between clinics and that makes it very hard to switch T:s.

I´ve also earlier on talked about this with my Pdoc and she doesn´t know what to do as she isn´t within therapy herself. She refers to the T or else she might refer me to someone else but most often the referalls are just sent back partly because you´re bound to the clinic in the town or area where you live.

Yes, I agree there is an idea to think about why you feel worse after a session and for me it´s not about me having talked about something difficult but the fact that I´m not me in a way that is good enough. My T tries and she has also made several changes but she seems to be lost about the main issues and how to progress.

I can´t get in contact with the doctor who referred me as she has quit and I can´t get therapy from that kind of primary care unit from where I got the referall.

Yes, I hope this summer break will help me make a decision, probably I´ll go for the first meeting after the break and feel how that feels or else I decide already before I see her next time. I feel very powerless beacuse of this lack of choices.

Thanks and back to you!

Originally Posted by Fizzyo

Hi SarahSweden,

I'm sorry to hear of your dilemma. As someone who uses the British NHS I understand the dilemma where you seem to have to take who you're referred to. Does your clinic have more than one therapist like yours?
In the NHS if you are in the secondary service (you have a psychiatrist who may oversee medication and others in the team such as psychologist nurse social worker etc) you can ask to change the main person coordinating or providing your care if you feel the relationship isn't working, just as they can recommend a change too if they feel they personally can't meet your needs. After all you can't get on with everyone.

Have you asked about your options from the clinic, not your T?
When my relationship with my care coordinator broke down I was allocated to a new one.
I was scared it might affect my care, but it seemed to be ok.

In primary care (family doctor level) there is a bit of provision under NHS but less intensive.

The other thing to consider is whether you feel worse after therapy because you have talked about something painful but which needs to be expressed/experienced in order to be able to get past it, but six months is a fairly good time to evaluate.

I'm sorry I can't help more, you are the only one who can really know what is good for you.

Is it worth discussing it with your referring doctor who referred you to that clinic?
If s/he thinks it appropriate they may be able to do something (not knowing your system).

I tend to take the attitude that if it's offered and it might help I will do it in the hope of benefit, but it is a shame to continue something that isn't helping when you could feel more independent.

Maybe how you get on through the summer break will give you a slight answer?

I wish you all the wisdom and luck as you decide what to do.

[Fizzyo]

I'm sorry, it sounds like we're very lucky in the uk in many ways, though 1:1 therapy is hard to get here too unless you can pay at least something.

I hope so much that you can find something that works for you.

Sending good wishes and (hopefully) strengthening thoughts.

[88Butterfly88]

Does the clinic have multiple therapists? Maybe you can switch therapists within the clinic?

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. I´ve had one and a half year to process that loss and part of my goal in this new therapy is to get help with processing my termination with my former T. I know I need therapy and even if I´m not affected by the summer break itself, that implies I still feel very bad and that my current T hasn´t helped me.

Originally Posted by Nammu

Could it possibly be that your continued grief over your former T is stopping you from healing? Maybe you need more time to process that loss? Why don't you wait and see how you do though the summer break and then talk to your T about how it went. If your both agreed that you did well and seem not affected you could decide at that time to discontinue.

[SarahSweden]

No, they don´t have several therapists at this clinic, that is the big dilemma...

Originally Posted by 88Butterfly88

Does the clinic have multiple therapists? Maybe you can switch therapists within the clinic?