[MtnTime2896]

If only people really knew what went on inside my head. Then again, I don't help because I don't say anything. How can I? Bring everyone else down with me? I've been told that that's not how it works but I can't get the notion out of my head. I just got through several weeks with heavy hallucinations, flashbacks and nightmares. Now, as it always does, depression is following. The kind of depression that makes it so difficult to talk to anyone about anything that involves how I feel. I just can't. It's the kind I hide with a smile and make people around me laugh. The kind of depression that I hide all day only to come home and think about how to end it for good. The kind that makes it more difficult to ease my mind.
If only I knew how to get passed it other than waiting it out. Sometimes, I don't know if I can wait it out anymore. I just don't know. This is also the same depression that makes me believe other people's view that I'm just a ***** and a liar and don't actually have PTSD. Regardless of how real it is to me, I just find a way to doubt myself. I don't know why but I do. Who cares about my diagnoses, I must just be weak. Right now, I'm just tired. About to eat dinner, watch TV and go to bed. Not that I can actually sleep until my fiance gets home, but I try.

Dear Só leigheas,
A lot of us can relate to feeling "so weak". I've felt that way and have had a relatively trauma-free life. And waiting for darkness and anxiety to pass--I can relate. There just must be a biological component to these things. And what goes on inside our heads can just be unfathomable sometimes. So, you know, I'm just so sorry you are struggling. I hope you feel a little better when the sun comes up!
Sincerely, Myst

[Fuzzybear]

[puzzclar]

You are not alone anymore. You have us!

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