Long story short, I've been on tons of different anti depressants and anti anxiety meds since I was 20. I'm now in my early 40's. For over 10 years I've been on paxil and valium. Even with the meds, I still struggle with depression and anxiety. With anxiety, not as much anymore unless I'm in a stressful social situation like a party or large gathering.

Anyways, I still cry at home sometimes and often feel alone and like crap. I get easily overwhelmed and stressed out. Things with my husband aren't good sometimes emotionally and financially and I have a hard time coping with that.

I tend to drink once in awhile to numb the pain more. Now I can't as much since I have started working f/t for the first time in years. Lately I've been stressed out with this new job and issues with my husband. On good days if you can call it that, I'm OK at best. It doesn't help that I've been neglected and bullied for most of my life by my family and peers as well as some so called friends.

Usually I'm not that happy, but not sad. I'm rarely ever truly happy. The rare times to where I can laugh out loud and truly feel alive happen to be rare moments for me. I envy people who are naturally happy and calm most of the time. I wish that I could be like them. So are meds not enough? Maybe I should try ablilify or some additional meds? Why am I not happy while on meds? I do have a few friends, but I'm not really close to them. My family is unsupportive and they hae always been emotionally and verbally abusive towards me. They think that "it's all in my head" and that I'm "crazy". So does my husband.

Does anyone else ever feel like their meds aren't working at times? Does it sound like I need different meds since I probably built up a tolerance, or can meds only do so much? Maybe it's just me? I'm a sensitive person who doesn't deal well with stress usually. I also tend to get overwhelmed at times and I'm an emotional person most of the time.

I don't usually cry that much anymore, but I almost cried at work the other day after a fight with my husband. Thank god that I work at night when hardly anyone was around. And last night and just now I started crying again even though things with my husband finally started talking to me after giving me the silent treatment again after 4 days after our last fight. He threatened to leave me for the millionth time again. And now I'm being bullied at work by two mean girls and I can't do or say much about it. This to me is to much to handle at once. I wish I wasn't so weak.

I'm often tired most of the time and a lot of times I wish that I could just stay in bed and not leave the house and just snuggle with my cat. I hate being this way.

Dear Shy Introvert,
I'm sorry your life is so tough right now. I was on Xanax (it's a lot like valium) for a while in order to stay calmer at a stressful job. As time went on, it was less effective for dealing with the anxiety while making me more numb to my feelings. My therapist says: people start building up a tolerance. In retrospect, I really should have started therapy when I started my medication. It's important that we try to take care of ourselves and deal with our stressers head on. I know there are some stressers that cannot be removed. And depression is the ultimate stresser. When you have time, please keep posting. I truly hope you life improves!
Sincerely, Myst

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((( Shy Introvert )))))))))))

[12AM]

As far as I know, yes, meds can stop working after we take it for several years. I’d ask the Pdoc to change the dosages or the meds completely. However, your post showed that you live in a very unsupportive environment. Do you have a therapist that you can talk your issues with? I think you need more support and I’d consider talking to a therapist and joining a depression support group in your area. The right medications would make a huge difference but I think meds alone wouldn’t be enough without therapy. Send you hugs

Originally Posted by Mysterious153

Dear Shy Introvert,
I'm sorry your life is so tough right now. I was on Xanax (it's a lot like valium) for a while in order to stay calmer at a stressful job. As time went on, it was less effective for dealing with the anxiety while making me more numb to my feelings. My therapist says: people start building up a tolerance. In retrospect, I really should have started therapy when I started my medication. It's important that we try to take care of ourselves and deal with our stressers head on. I know there are some stressers that cannot be removed. And depression is the ultimate stresser. When you have time, please keep posting. I truly hope you life improves!
Sincerely, Myst

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Thanks for your reply. How did Xanax work for you? I took that years ago but I don't think that it worked that well for me. Maybe I need something new as I probably built up a tolerance to it? Or just a stronger dose of it?

I'll try getting a stronger dose for both meds soon. I sure need it now for than ever with this new job.

@Fuzzybear, thanks for the hugs-

Originally Posted by 12PM

As far as I know, yes, meds can stop working after we take it for several years. I’d ask the Pdoc to change the dosages or the meds completely. However, your post showed that you live in a very unsupportive environment. Do you have a therapist that you can talk your issues with? I think you need more support and I’d consider talking to a therapist and joining a depression support group in your area. The right medications would make a huge difference but I think meds alone wouldn’t be enough without therapy. Send you hugs

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That's what I suspected. I've taken paxil and valium for a lot longer than that. So I'll ask my Dr. to up both doses next time. In the meantime I'll double my doses for now. If that doesn't help, then it might be time to try something new.

Yes, I do live in a very unsupportive environment. None of my friends know about my condition except for two that I met on here. And one good friend. She doesn't judge as much as most people do when it comes to most things. I can't talk about this with many people as they'll probably just dismiss me as being "crazy". So I try to act as normal as possible and I try to say as little as possible about my problems in life. I try to keep things light hearted and focused on other people as to not scare them off like I have in the past.

I have tried many different types of therapists and therapy in the past and they have all failed me. None of them were that good. Some of them didn't take me that seriously. Some were nasty, so I had the good sense to not continue after they showed me their true colors and became verbally abusive.

One time I got my wrist grabbed by some psycho psychologist who was always robotic and cold. He forgot to give me my prescription one time years ago so when I went back to get it, I tried to walk into his office to talk to him and he restrained me in front of other people. I should've filed a complaint against him. He wouldn't let go of me and he was hurting me badly. So this is why I'm scared to see a therapist again.

One hypnotherapist yelled at me for not having gotten a book that she told me to get and would say crazy stuff about how it seems like getting my nails done if more important to me than fixing myself. And this was coming from a nut job who put a spell on her neighbor for supposedly hurting her cat. WTH? No wonder I'm terrified of going to therapy now! At best, they just sit there and don't say much of anything until your time is up. One guy was on the phone half the time I saw him. How rude! I used to only put up with him then as I naively thought that I could only get meds from a psychiatrist back then.

I found one free place half an hour away from me, but I'm always working now, so I may or may not have time to check that out. I'll try to go there sometime soon though. I won't open up to them right away though. I need to test the waters first to see if they'll take me seriously. Free or not, if they don't, I'm out of there.

[12AM]

Ah So sorry that you had bad experiences with therapists. Yeah testing the water first for the new place sounds like a good idea. I cannot suggest any other thing now, but I send good thoughts your way

Thanks 12p.m!