[Wiscmax34]

Hello Forum mates...

I have taken a hiatus from the site for years.. well I am back again where I began.. I initially began with my depression shortly after a mental break down and depersonalization from use of marijuana and a major 4yr break up.. i went through hell and back and was functioning enough to finish my masters degree from the University of Wisconsin. But.. Now I have slid back into my depression again. I have began to drink and think morbidly.. I am on lexapro (10mg) and welbutrin (300 mg- 150 twice a day). I have begun to think on death and more dark things once again.. but death is a fascination of mine.. if i can attach my artwork i will.. I am looking for other who have healed and have returned to depression again.. its like a never ending disaster.. I am so sad.. why has God given me this disease?

[Skeezyks]

Hello Wiscmax34: Welcome (back) to PsychCentral! I'm sorry you are once again in the throes of this depression. Congratulations, though, on having finished your Master's degree! The Skeezyks also spends too much time contemplating the possibility of death. (I've put forth some efforts toward that end, in the past, as well.)

I presume I don't need to tell you that drinking, especially while on psych med's is bad business. You don't mention, in your post, if you're seeing a therapist. I hope so. Continuing to allow these dark thoughts to roll around in your mind will only cause you additional misery. Of course, posting here on PC can help. But it's not a substitute for real life help. So, if you are not already doing so, please consider reaching out for help, in real life. I wish you all the best in your struggles.

[Fizzyo]

Hi welcome back.

People here have helped me through some dark times and I hope you get as much encouragement from this community as I have.