Headed For A Meltdown

something is seriously wrong....i'm not dissociating but one minute i feel like me and the next minute my thoughts are from someone i don't recognise...i become hateful and want to emotionally hurt my t and the next minute i would never do that...when i'm in that nasty state i delight in thinking how i could hurt her feelings....i don't know why i'm posting this, because it makes me look really twisted........fp

((((((((((((((((FindPeace)))))))))))))
I'm sorry to hear you are having such a bad time right now .... is there any way you feel comfortable enough discusing this with your T? Maybe they can help you sort out why you are feeling this way ....?

Jacq

I don't have a session until Tuesday but I can talk to her than......FP

((((((((((((((((((((FindPeace))))))))))))))))))))))

hey now...stop trying to steal my title as most twisted! jk

i'm sorry you are having such a tough and scary time! what you posted doesn't sound twisted - sounds frightening!

pm me if you need to talk!

((((fp))))

Sounds rough, I reckon it would be good for you to talk to T on Tues about this! I hope you're not frightened by it, just remember that you're a good person, and even good people think bad thoughts sometimes. In other words, don't be too hard on yourself for it, since it's not your fault...

things are getting really bad almost to a paranoia right now I don't even trust my T or want her anywhere near me....FP

Sounds like a complicate situation, but NOT twisted at all. It is normal to have strong feelings towards you therapist, and also to have conflicting feelings. Our strongest feelings are always ambiguous. So you should submit your state to your t, but rest assurd that however extreme in the measure, they are not absurd in the content.

The best of luck

nobody can be trusted...nobody.......................

I think that you need to talk to your therapist today. It sounds like you are really suffering. I know it's hard to trust someone when you are overwhelmed by these feelings but try and trust your therapist at least for the time necessary so you can get over this hump. When you are feeling better later, you can decide whether you want to continue with this particular T. or not but for right now, trust her enough to call. You are not trusting her with your entire life, even though it may feel like that. You are trusting her enough to help you out of this situation of intense pain. Please try and call. It is better than being in pain.