[RedStorms]

I woke up today at 11 am, after falling asleep around 7 pm last night. (I don't know how I can sleep that long) I walked downstairs, and barely got more than a sentence greeting "you're up early", (yeah, you finally noticed I usually get up at 3 pm) and I just ****ed around all day until dinner, which I finished early. I stood up and did some dishes. No one spoke to me, not my mother and father, not my brother and sister... They all sat and talked to each other about all the things they're doing with their lives. No one asking what I'm doing with my life (****ing it away) or what I did today. "Hey, the rest of the family is successful, 3/4 children are doing a lot, so whatever, **** the other kid."

I'm just so tired.

[Stuck1nhead]

They care, and I do too. But its a team effort. I get depression a lot nowadays because im between jobs. But you have too force yourself to try to be better then you were the day before. I've actually researched current events and other people so I can actively converse. I can't understand social skills and ques at all.

I would also recommend that you set a regular sleeping schedule. That is probably playing a big part of your moods.

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[vanishingacts]

Feels like this for me at school. Most classes I sit alone because my friends sit in pairs and there's 5 of us. They talk around me like I'm not there. Then I get even worse and I feel like I have to tell them, or else I just won't get through. Problem is I can't tell them. I'm sure they do care. Its like that with me and my dad. Its just us on the weeks my brother is at my mum's. It really seems like he doesn't care about my day, at all. We don't talk much. I know he cares though.

And I care

Hope you feel better soon

i don't thihnk i've ever really fit in to this world (if that's because people don't take notice of me, or because i just don't belong here, i don't know)
my family don't bother with me (and i'm at a point where i can accept that) it's been so long

what bothers me is that i find it hard to talk.. like explain stuff, and when i do it's like hahahaha ha, yeah, right, or it's shrugged off. the same issues could be raised by anyone else in the world and it's like... awwww, i'm so sorry for you!. i hope stuff gets better

but when it comes to me.. it always comes back to being my fault- it's your fault you don't want to talk to someone, or it's your fault you're life is a screw up, it's your fault you're suicidal... jesus!

a recent example, i told someone i had a flashback and they asked me if i remember what it was about.. and i'm like, sure. it was about my parents trying to set fire to our house and they are like.. hahahah yeah, like they'd do that. parents are good people

and i'm thinking.. oh my god, once you've lived my life and experienced all the abuse, come back and say that again to my face.

then the other thing that makes me feel like i don't matter to anyone is how everything i ask for help with, or any issues i have, are put right at the bottom of the priority list

you know. once we've attended to the first 50 or 60 " important" people, once i've had some time to myself, we'll deal with you

ugg

i've done it again. i've said too much

i should say that it's usually exactly the same in hospital.

always left until last

maybe people do genuin hate me

it's not an impossible concept

[BadMojo47]

Hey RedStorms, sorry nobody seems to care about you or your life right now. That said, I wanted to ask you something to gain a better understanding of your statements. That being, has there ever been a point in life when people were interested in what you had going on? If so, when/what was that? Did something change to put you on your current path? Just curious... Good luck!