[guiltier65]

I kind of want to reach out, but i don't know how or why. I am really fighting the loneliness and grief. I am just plain done in. I see no hope in the future or pleasure in the present.
I found myself making the choice to cut last night. I couldn't fight the urge. I'm so sorry.

[Fuzzybear]

[Frankbtl]

Hi guiltier

I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now

And the cutting..........this may sound strange.........but please don't be sorry...........self recrimination, self blame, guilt, negatively judging yourself for it............well those feelings can all intensify the urge/need to repeat, repeat, repeat...........
Let's instead say that you were going through so much that you just didn't have the coping skills to manage it and avoid it leading to the SI?? A bit of self-compassion, yes??
And of course it would be better if you hadn't "hurt" so much, and it hadn't led to the urges or the SI
But let's think forward, hey?? Towards finding ways to ease the "hurt" a bit or/and to finding coping skills that help in avoiding the urges/need to SI??

And you've hit a fantastic idea which may just help a little...........reaching out
Just easier said than done, right?!! Although you are doing great in reaching out on here!!!
So........it can depend on what might work best for you.............
Maybe decide on the things that bother you most and that might lead you to selecting the right person to reach out to e.g. someone who might understand those things/feelings..........
Maybe choose someone/anyone who you might find it easier to reach out to (and that can take the anonymous route as on here, or in contacting a helpline)............
Maybe write down some of your feelings first, so you can express yourself as you'd like to when reaching out to someone............
Maybe work on ways that may help you to "take the leap" in reaching out e.g. in thinking "I've nothing to feel ashamed (or insert another word) about, everyone needs help sometimes"...............

But loneliness and grief............well it's completely understandable how those feelings can rob you of any sense of hope and numb you to any feelings of pleasure
You do know that those feelings don't have to last forever though, right??!! They don't!!! Things can get better with time, working through them, and especially with the right support
I honestly do know the way ahead isn't easy, isn't going to be easy, but there is a way ahead.
And hey guiltier, we can be with you on that

Alison

[guiltier65]

Thank you so much! I am not good at reaching out. I tend to doubt my own feelings and thoughts. I appreciate your rationality and problem solving. The logic and reasoning helps.
I know that this is not going to last forever, but I don't see and end in sight. It feels like one crisis after another.

[dexter]

Guiltier thank you for reaching out here. You did that successfully and talked about your SI.

I want to second what Frankbtl said--don't go into self judgement on the SI. It is now in the past. Continue to fight the urge to do so with whatever skills you have.

Things must have been hard last night. It might also have been hard to tell us that you did it today. It was a big success to do that today. Telling us keeps it from being a secret and may help you fight the urge next time. So I consider that a huge success in reaching out, sharing with us. We will only judge you positively for reaching out so do not judge yourself negatively, just work to continue to move forward.

[Hopeofreedom]

The fact that you wrote this post it's a step in the right direction.👍😉.

Also it's normal to have set backs on the road to recovery.

Please Love you body and treat it well. Also your heart too. 💜