Depression with agitation

Does anyone else have this? When I first started on my mental health recovery journey after my divorce the first verbal dx I got was depression with agitation or dysthymia . The therapist said I probably had that half my life. I remember when I ran away at 15 to a youth shelter and was and they sent me to a . My mother accused me of making it up for attention and life went on. I never got treated for it. I got some therapy for an "adolescent identity disorder" or something like that and that was it.
The person who dx the dysthymia was not a psych doc and he did not send me to a psych doc as he did not think I needed meds. A year or two later a friend sent me to a p doc who dx me with c PTSD and prescribed a mood stabilizer for the day and an antipsychotic to help me sleep at night when I needed it and that's been my regime ever since. The t who treated my c PTSD said the mood stabilizer was probably stabilizing my brain chemistry since my early trauma changed my brain and said probably best to leave it alone. He also had me do Dbt and I ended up doing 4 rounds. Today I have the skills to regulate my emotions but I still don't like feeling anger. It's so frustrating .

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Dear Leomama,
That is the type of depression I get. An agitated and anxious one. Haven't posted on the depression forum lately because I noticed many of the people have the sort of depression that makes it hard for them to get out of bed, etc. I've always been a very energetic person and though my depression was "hardcore" from 2011 until May 2016 (no hope, no joy and SI), I never missed a day of work through it all. I've also had shorter bouts with depression since middle school but it never interfered with working toward most of my goals (I have a master's degree and was once an officer in the military) but it did significantly impact my weight. When I'm not depressed, I would get in shape and get my weight to where it needed to be. Depression always causes me to gain significant weight.
Hope this isn't too much information. Myst

PS I'm sorry your mother aggravated your ability to recover. Did she cause your PTSD? If you don't want to talk about the cause of your PTSD, I certainly understand. Sometimes talking/writing about it can be triggering. I hope your recovery journey continues.
Sincerely, Myst

Thank you, that's not tmi, it's very helpful. I started thinking about this because I feel so much anger at times . I only have an associates degree, and I've only been in the domestic version of the peace corps however I'm not overweight so I have that going for me. My parents are runners and exercise was drilled into my head as the cure all. I appreciate your reply.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk