need help

I am very depressed. It's been four weeks since my friend died. I am depressed I don't think it is grief.
I go back to bed every morning and sleep until afternoon. I don't answer when my friends call. I can't seem to call my therapist and set up an appointment. Just sit in a chair and stare out the window. Can't eat. Having some very bad thoughts that I haven't had in a long time. Not good I am scared. Don't know what to do. I should have written this before this but I didn't because it seemed too hard.

Well Sunbeem, you have already taken a good first step in posting here and talking about what is bothering you. I suggest that you keep doing that and write feelings, thoughts, moods etc. down as well. You had mentioned that you write but haven't as of late. You certainly should...for myself and many others, can attest to, that writing helps.

Losing a friend is difficult and grieving is sometimes a long, and at times painful, process. You have my deepest sympathies.

I am not a doctor, but I am just like you, someone who is looking for support to deal with problems that seem overwhelming. Though I do know four weeks may not be enough time to process. Grief is different for everyone...or perhaps the grief brought on more depression...as I said I don't really know, but I am making a guess using my own experiences.

I hope that you keep posting here and talking about it...the community will do their best to help you. As for the long periods of sleeping, the distancing yourself from friends, and the inability to make/keep appointments, many of us have been there...just know that it is ok to be scared.

And know there are many people on here with an ear to listen, in turn that may ease your pain and help the fear dissipate.

You could even try one of the chatrooms or support groups, that may help too...as for the motivation, I know how hard that is. But a friend told me, that trying to set tiny achievable goals may help in getting you started at reclaiming your life...even if the goal is something that seems small or mundane like making your bed. I don't know if it'll help but it is worth a shot...

If you want to talk, feel free to message me and I wish you well.