[guiltier65]

I'm supposed to get my picture taken today for the yearbook at the school where I work. I realized I just can't do it. It's not vanity, the fact is that i just plain hate everything about myself. I'm overweight, middleaged, and just plain a mess!
I'm sitting here after telling my principal that i just can't do it, and may need to cut back on hours. I just plain despise everything about myself! I hate this illness that steals all the pleasure in my life! I hate my weakness! I'm just plain tired of this existence! I just want to be done with it all. I'm once again, circling the drain... why doesn't it all stop!

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry that you feel this way... I really do I can relate to it.

I'm sure that you're a good person... please, keep in mind that what you think about yourself is not your real self, it's just the effect of your illness. Deep down you're a great person

Are you seeing a therapist?

[guiltier65]

yes. I'm thinking i need to contact him today. can't hardly stop the tears.

[MickeyCheeky]

That's good Contact him, please. He's probably the only one that can really help you, right now.

[Deeplyhurt77]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. But I completely understand, I to avoid pictures. However the negative feelings you are having about yourself is coming from your illness. You should contact you therapist, they are good for encouragement.

[Clara22]

Hi
We should not feel ashamed of our bodies. We should take pictures of ourselves and give a s*** about what other people say about our appearance. But, like you I hate taking pictures of myself. I hate when other people take them without my permission and post them in Facebook. I do not want to see myself. I should not care but I see myself too deteriorated. My appearance worsened. I understand you. The only solution to me is not to think about it (if they took a picture without my permission)

[Unrigged64072835]

I hate having pictures taken. I've gained a lot of weight and it even shows on my face. I understand how you feel.

[Fuzzybear]

[Frankbtl]

Hi guiltier,

You're absolutely right, it is the illness
But the illness and the thoughts that come along with it don't define who you are underneath all of that............so this might not really help but...........let me be another voice refuting what the illness is telling you............from reading your threads underneath the cloak of depression...........you ARE very caring, very insightful, very empathetic, you have shown tremendous strength, you DO have a lot of admirable qualities

And the age and weight concerns..........well to me, those things don't measure a persons worth either good or bad............it's who you are that counts.........and to me..........from your threads guiltier.........you are a good person, whatever the depression tells you

AlisonSave

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