Best Face It.

MtnTime2896 · Sep 19, 2016, 03:22 AM

**** it. I do everything and anything wrong it seems. All of the ****ing time, I do something that hurts someone. That pisses someone off. That makes them feel irritated or hurt in some way shape or form. It's like some endless ****ing line of **** ups. I don't even know how the hell I'm able to do it. I just ****ing am. I'm just that big of a piece of **** that I just am a ******* burden to everyone. My own fiance told me tonight that he doesn't know if I'm just getting worse or if he's just noticing it more. Either way, we just ****ing fight now. Either way, he's not even beside me tonight and for all I know, doesn't even care enough to try. If all I do is piss him off now days, why the **** is he still even around. Just ****ing leave me so that I can follow through with what I've wanted to do for a long damn time now. Just leave me so that I can do one more thing to piss everyone off.
I can't seem to escape this endless cycle of upsetting everyone. Apparently I've been right all along, I'm a real piece of ****. I'm good for nothing, I'm no one anyone should associate with and I sure as hell don't have a single redeeming quality.
I'm not writing this for the attention or to be told otherwise. I'm venting. I'm just desperate to get this **** off of my chest in some way to try and deter what I know is going to happen. Just like everything's always done, this ****'s going to blow up in my damn face and I'll be left in the smoke looking like the bad guy for everyone to judge. **** it, I am the bad guy. I am the reason everyone who's close to me's life sucks. I'm the reason you aren't ****ing happy. I'm the singular reason why you hate life. I am the reason you are miserable. Fine! Now just ****ing leave me since I'm so poisonous.
This will probably be taken down but at least I got it out on something.

Sep 19, 2016, 03:59 AM

I don't know what to say because I can't fix it and I don't want to say something that makes it worse. But I just find all your posts extremely likable. I know it sounds weird. But they probably won't take this post down. You are just beating yourself up. You do it a lot. Your postings are so kind to others. Despite the bleeped out stuff (****), you are a sweet person. I wish you weren't hurting so much!

MtnTime2896 · Sep 19, 2016, 04:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mysterious153

I don't know what to say because I can't fix it and I don't want to say something that makes it worse. But I just find all your posts extremely likable. I know it sounds weird. But they probably won't take this post down. You are just beating yourself up. You do it a lot. Your postings are so kind to others. Despite the bleeped out stuff (****), you are a sweet person. I wish you weren't hurting so much!

Sorry for the cussing. I just don't know what to do anymore. It's like I do so much more harm than good. I don't know why I can't just be normal and good.