[passionfruit3]

I overdosed yesterday on a cocktail of pills feel bad cause I took iv out so I really got no treatment at hospital but I don't think I'm entirely to blame I was hearing voices and I wanted to burn but they turned the oven so I looked in the camment were she stopped putting them cause she knew I could find them. And low and behold she put them there and I just wanted to sleep and it went overboard.I feel like if I could have burned I wouldn't go looking then I get home and they leave out more pills in the open.I play apart to but no one is addressing my parents. Negligence

[unhappydaze]

You are who you are regardless what your parents do or don't do - or understand or fail to understand. Your inner experience is not something they can understand; none of us can comprehend what it is like to be in the skin of another; not even parents in relation to their children. Some of them speak and behave as though they know what's going on in their childrens' heads, but that's an illusion, at least beyond the age of five or six.

FWIW, I write this speaking as a parent of three adult children. You are yourself, and no one else can ever know what's going on inside you. Having said that, try to imagine that you had children of your own, and how you would feel if they were in such pain as you're experiencing. Would your own reactions be always the best possible? If not - if you erred in a given circumstance - would it mean that you cared for your kid any less? That you didn't love them more than life itself?

[Fizzyo]

Passionfruit3,

I'm sorry you feel neglected.

Unhappydaze talks some sense though. Parents make mistakes but that doesn't mean they don't care.
They may mess up but then torture themselves with guilt. For all the parents I know, if their child is suffering, they feel pain and want to make things better. However, we can't take someone else's pain away however much we want to.

However, as adults or young people, we are responsible for what we do. We do what we do for our real reasons and our behaviour is understandable. If a person is truly determined to do something, then (beyond the age of about six or eight), no one can stop them. It is our choice (I agree choosing to stay safe can feel near impossible) but it is our decision to do or not do something.

It may sound harsh, but in the end it is my life, my body and therefore my responsibility, whatever age I am, and it is my choice to engage with harm or try to stay safe and engage in therapy and learning ways to cope with how i feel without causing myself more pain than I need to suffer.

I hope you can find a way forward for yourself so you can relate more comfortably with your parents too.