[passionfruit3]

I've been really trying but it's been hard to keep moving forward. I've done poetry guided visualization I've been recording my work. Voice wise I called the suicide hotline I talked to a crisis Worker text wise..it just doesn't seem like it's enough to fix my depression and.suicidal thoughts I've thought the best way to do this is to eventually admit myself but I'm afraid of being thrown right back out since my behavior is always down right terrible also I want to be admitted to a certain hospital and my parents would have to take me and there's all these rules I'm not aware of to being admitted by yourself but the er just sends you home or abuses you suicide rates jump between low and high daily though I manage to stay safe.being so sick worsens things cause I'm not sure if it's depression or pain I'm feeling though it hurts kinda.but I have been trying just in pain and I'm sick of it

[MtnTime2896]

If you feel like you've exhausted all other options and you're suicidal and you want help. Then I say, go for it. See if it can at least help you find your footing.

[passionfruit3]

I'm afraid of getting kicked out to soon if I'm not ready or annoying people with my behavior if I were to admit myself.also this is New to me so nervous about talking.to my parents about taking me kind of need pointers on how to bring the subject up although I could have someone else ask for me a professional

[MtnTime2896]

If you don't feel comfortable about asking them, then yes, having a professional would be a good avenue. To be honest, I didn't tell my parents until after. However, the second time I went I had to talk with my fiance about it. I started off by explaining (in as much depth as I felt comfortable with) how I had been lately. I told him that I was suicidal to a degree that I couldn't handle on my own anymore. I needed urgent help to get it under control. Then I explained how a hospital might help.
When it comes to behavior, hospital staff usually, and are expected to have a high tolerance about that. This is just based off of my own experience, every hospital is different. Annoying, tends to come with the territory. I wouldn't dwell on that much due to the fact that I can guarantee that they are or have dealt with much worse. A hospital won't "kick" you out until they believe that you're stable and okay; or they're suppose to. You're the expert in your life, if they think you're ready and you aren't, tell them and explain why. Chances are that they'll keep you until you feel comfortable leaving; or at least they should. If they're a really good staff and hospital, they'll set you up with outpatient services after your stay to help ensure that you get the proper help you need.
This is how it was for me, but again, every hospital and staff are different. If you need it and want that kind of help, do it.

[passionfruit3]

They don't seem to have a high tolerance for me.i went to a psychological hospital I was told by the psychiatrist I didn't care about anyone other than myself and I was selfish.i started crying he didn't care he said if I didn't take meds he'd have it so they'd never accept me back at the hospital he said he'd go to the board.i tried to climb on a counter after I was so upset I thought about jumping the psychiatrist came out told me to jump and though the Issue was resolved I'm not allowed back their my casemanager told me. To that mental hospital. I've been black listed.im thinking of going tonight to the hospital to try to be admitted or next week though I don't know if I will hurt myself to try to get in

[MtnTime2896]

I'm sorry that happened to you. That psychiatrist shouldn't be allowed to carry the title. You needed help and he not only neglected to give you that, but he also made it worse. I'm sorry for that. I hope that things are better at this other hospital and I hope that you get the help you need. I don't want you to hurt yourself, if you can help it. You don't deserve to hurt in any way.
I'll be thinking about you. Keep me updated.

[Fuzzybear]

That psychiatrist sounds appalling.. I also have experienced a "head doc" not only not helping but making things worse.
(More people have experienced this than I thought at first... All different sorts of people )
I'm sending you positive thoughts and hoping you get the help and support you deserve, we're here for you too