scared of relapse

I feel like I may be relapsing back into depression and I"M SCARED!!! I was doing so well, but lately I feel like I'm slipping... Visiting my parents, and don't want to tell them - I just keep telling them I'm feeling (physically) sick, but it's not really physical... In Sept. I start a new job and am terrified to mess up - already had to take a 2 month sick leave in my old job because I was out of whack. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!! HOW DO I STOP IT?!

Well since you know or think it could happen, maybe try to get yourself to a therapist, get some meds sorted out, get some coping skills from a doctor, etc.

and i'm sorry that's happening to you. i wish you the best of luck with dealing with this and with your new job.

Hm, frankly I don't know. I adhere to the post above for practical advice.
But this is what happens to me: since I started meds and therapy (5 -6 years) I recurrently have depressive episode of about 1 month about twice yearly. I must say, however, that while until one year ago I was always leaving with the dread of this catastrophe that could fall upon me and shred my projects, recently I am starting to see these crisis as part of a healing process. I am changing the way I live, and every new episode pushes me forward on this way. It is painful, no doubt, but I know it is going to pass, and I know what I have to do to make them less frequest and less bad.

The best of luck

Oh ouch, I'm sorry you're feeling this way I know how terrified I am of slipping back when I've made progress too. And it used to paralyze me, just waiting for the inevitable crash to come again.

What helps me is a couple of things. It helps to think of the ways things are better for me now and make a list in my journal or just in my head of the progress I know is there. Even when I feel the most down now, I know I *CAN* feel better now, that there is something good there. And I go through the 'what is wrong right now' and be as specific as I can. And reason with myself that I have handled that before and how I did. Also it helps to follow my illogical thoughts until they do make me laugh... because I goof up something does not ultimately mean I'm going to end up living in a box.

I don't post a lot but I've read a lot of your posts here and you remind me of me a lot. I know you've made progress, even with the little dips. For me, watching every little thing for signs of falling again was driving me TO do just that. So now I recognize when that starts and argue it down.

Chin up, you can keep up Slips are ok, they just make the good parts easier to see!

Ouch,

Starting a new job is a major stress factor in anyone's life. It's fear of the unknown. Try to put a positive spin on all of your worries about starting your new job. Don't sell youself so short. What makes you think you will mess something up? You will be great.

I totally understand your fear about "relapsing" into your depression. I had, and still do have those fears from time to time. I still have trouble talking myself down and staying focused during times of crisis, but I know that each time I go through it, I come out OK. I think that makes me stronger and stronger. Depression is so powerful, but I think out inner selves are 1000 times more powerful and you will pull through this.

Good luck with your new job. I will be sending good thoughts yoiur way.



Jen