[RJ42]

Through my entire adult life, and I'm sure others have too, I've only been good enough to help women. I don't see myself as perfect, but I consider myself a good person. I see so many women saying "where are the kind, honest, respectful, and responsible guys at?" This puzzles me because I have those qualities and then some.
It has become inherently obvious that my looks and the fact I cannot work anymore are the real reasons why I'm a tool to women and not relationship material. I'm not saying all women are bad, I'm just referring to the ones I encounter.
I know my looks are slightly below average and that's okay. I've worked 23 out of the 42 years I've been alive. To me, disabled doesn't mean lazy, dependent or a mooch. It just means hindered. I don't look for support in any way. I am independent, strong willed and do everything myself.
It is pretty sad to know first hand how much selfish people use a selfless person so much, in both genders.
I think perhaps it would be best to stay to myself. The hurt would stop and I've been used to being alone for so long. We as hurt people can change ourselves for the better. However, it doesn't help when other people get worse. It kind of feels like bein a big hearted fish swimming in an ocean of hungry sharks. The bad part is, this fish is growing so tired inside from trying just to survive each day, wondering when the time will come when he cam stop swimming and finally discover peace. I will never quit swimming, I only long for my time of swimming to be done.

[gayleggg]

Not all women are that way. It's just finding the good fish in the sea. With me it's turned around, I'm the female who is disabled and below average looking. But I'm fortunate, as I found a man who doesn't care about those things and loves me anyway, even though I'm not easy to live with.

Better luck to you in the future. It's worth the wait.

[Fizzyo]

I'm not even worth any man's time of day, let alone their affection. All because I don't look like a porn star...

Maybe it's men like you and women like me who need to find each other, rather than looking to the wrong ones to validate us.

[RJ42]

Good people are difficult to find. It's just unfortunate that the bad people treat the good so badly. Whether a person finds their special someone or not, each person always has theirself. I have been a loner most of my life, but I still keep going. Being comfortable with yourself is very important. Needing a special someone is not the way. Wanting someone to be with is best. Ennui, each person is worth the time of someone special. It is just harder to find the right someone. I've begun to see this myself. I'm in my 40's and still haven't found her yet. I hope I will someday. Till then, I've always got myself just as you have yourself.

[LittleEarthquakes]

Originally Posted by ennui.

I'm not even worth any man's time of day, let alone their affection. All because I don't look like a porn star...

Maybe it's men like you and women like me who need to find each other, rather than looking to the wrong ones to validate us.

Ennui, there are plenty of guys who love women that don't have conventional or "porn star" looks.

[JustJace2u]

I don't find myself attractive. I have a disability and I think that's what scares the men away. I do work, but I struggle at the same time. Being 42 I've had to try and accept that this is just the way things are gonna be for the rest of my life...and it sucks.

[RJ42]

Being disabled isn't easy JustJace. I use a cane when I walk and I get stared at a lot. When I was working here in Kalamazoo, I felt like I contributed and had a purpose. After I got hurt, it all went away. Now I live alone and spend much of my time at home reading. I do that because I am tired of the stares, comments, and general ugliness of people. I do what I can with what I have. Being alone isn't ideal, but at least I don't get used or treated badly. And I'm sure you're right that it scares away guys. It scares away the ladies from me. I tend to think it scares the selfish people that are looking for perfection. If people could take off their blinders, they might realize perfection was possibly in front of them all along.

[JustJace2u]

Unfortunately we live in a society that seems to be so one-sided, it's pathetic, in my opinion. I agree that being alone isn't ideal, but like you said, it's better than being used and being treated unfairly.

[RJ42]

Most people seem to want perfect looks, perfect health, money, material things, etc. The meaning of the L word seems lost in translation anymore. I, like many others, get beat over the head with that word. I'm a very old fashioned man, I'd rather have the L word more than anything. Unfortunately, too many people can fake that word to get what they want. That makes the people who actually want the L word, have a difficult time finding it. I've given my all when I felt that L word for someone and have never felt it back. I'm not perfect but I do know what's important. I'm not saying finding the L word is impossible, but it sure as hell is hiding very good.