[YouCanDoIt]

Someone made a reply to one of my recent posts which said:

Depression: I hate it, but it feels like an old friend. Yes, I am aware of how twisted that sounds but…

I can identify with that.

Does that ring true to you too? Or is it just me and him that are weird?

[MtnTime2896]

Nope, not weird. I feel similar and I can't explain it.

[winter4me]

Makes sense...it is known, and the body knows it ---- I think it is r/t the physiological effects------reminds me of feeling the loss of certain very high stress jobs that involved threats of (and actual now and then) physical harm----there is a kind of "rush" inside, akin, I think to ptsd (eg: who do combat veterans feel OK around? where do they feel OK?...isn't there something that 'misses' the constant tension, the dealing in the moment with imminent danger?......)
There was a long period of time when my long, severe panic attacks stopped and I found an odd sensation/voice inside "wishing" for just a bit more "So I can figure it out"...
And, even some days when I know going out in the sun would relieve me, I curl up in the corner of the couch...
I thank goodness for the things I feel I have to do ---- and am glad to know a few things I can do that will push that tug far far away...

[MickeyCheeky]

Never felt this way.. but I don't think it's weird.

[BadWolfC]

Yes, it really is an old friend to me. I've had it in my life for so long now that I couldn't tell you who I would be without it.

[Mike_J]

Sounds very familiar to me

[Elio]

I'm right there with you.

Lately I haven't been feeling depression. But I have felt it before and it was horrible. However, when I'm feeling alright or pretty good, then it's a weird feeling. It feels like something's off. And I'm not supposed to feel alright. I hope that answers the question.

I don't think any feeling is "weird", however depression is my enemy, not my friend.

I get no pleasure from it, I don't seek it out, it doesn't help me it only hurts me.

[Apollite]

I've been depressed for so long that I don't know who I am anymore, and my social isolation is turning me into a misanthropist. I hate feeling this way but i just can't pull myself out of it. Sometimes, I experience brief moments of happiness, like when I watch cats on YouTube or look at family photos, but I'm jolted back to reality almost immediately. It Seems like my brain can no longer cope with positive emotions.

I can understand why you see depression as an old friend because when we inhabit a paticular state of mind for so long, it leaves an indelible mark inside us - even if we manage to conquer it. It has got to the stage where I'm almost afraid to get better because if I did, the realisation of what I've lost will just send me into the black hole again.

I suppose when I think about it, yes it rings true.

never really thought about it before now

but yeah it does. it's a part of me

[wool&plaid]

I totally get that. Sometimes when I am not depressed but am overwhelmed by things I miss it because things are simple when depressed (or so it seems. feeling depressed now and things do not feel simple!)
I can also understand how depression can almost feel like another person there with you, saying you don't need them, we are okay here by ourselves. Depression as a co-conspirator!

[YouCanDoIt]

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for sharing their thoughts on this strange little topic. Some interesting insights, nice to know its not just me and my imaginary friend lol.

love to all