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#1
Dec 15, 2016, 08:04 PM
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I need to make major changes in my life, yet I can't because ******* fear holds me back. So, I'm very quickly becoming a sealed pressure cooker of a person. If I don't find some outlets out of this pressure I don't know what's going to happen. Today I learned of a term, "catatonic excitement", where you bounce around between wanting to express your feelings with any old impulsive behavior, or just stare at walls unable to do anything because there is no outlet available for your legitimate needs and feelings and you just can't take it anymore. yeah that's right where I am. I want to just "take the brakes off" myself, and every time I don't, I start feeling far worse. FAR worse. Guess that means I can't tolerate the status quo anymore without a breakdown being imminent. Problem is, I have become a passive punching bag of a person. I CAN tolerate things one should not. I am becoming so passively resigned, almost masochistic and uncommunicative, it scares me. I'm just passively observing my life rot and starting to find it hard to care about it. I honestly fear shutting down inside and never coming out of it.
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 Anonymous55397, bluekoi, BrownHat22, Christina86, connect.the.stars, MtnTime2896, PenguinExMachina, Rohag, Shazerac, Skeezyks
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#2
Dec 16, 2016, 10:21 PM
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This description of yours impressed me:
Quote:
Concerned for you...
__________________
My dog  mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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#3
Dec 17, 2016, 04:34 PM
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Yeah... the Skeezyks has been there for so long, he wouldn't know how to live any other way. Only difference is I've lived this way for so long, it no longer matters. Hope you find a way to ease off of those brakes... gently... no more punching bag!
 
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#4
Dec 17, 2016, 05:35 PM
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Stay safe. Sounds like you are having a rough day ride. Can you talk with a therapist or someone who help you?
__________________
 Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg 
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#5
Dec 17, 2016, 09:14 PM
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At least I am feeling improvement today. For "don't" or "can't" I'll substitute "want to, but finding it a big challenge". I'm using every psychological self-help technique I've ever learned right now, and finding it does take the edge off of things.
Thanks for replying.
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| MtnTime2896, Rohag
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 Rohag
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