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  #1  
Old Dec 15, 2016, 08:04 PM
Onward2wards Onward2wards is offline
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I need to make major changes in my life, yet I can't because ******* fear holds me back. So, I'm very quickly becoming a sealed pressure cooker of a person. If I don't find some outlets out of this pressure I don't know what's going to happen. Today I learned of a term, "catatonic excitement", where you bounce around between wanting to express your feelings with any old impulsive behavior, or just stare at walls unable to do anything because there is no outlet available for your legitimate needs and feelings and you just can't take it anymore. yeah that's right where I am. I want to just "take the brakes off" myself, and every time I don't, I start feeling far worse. FAR worse. Guess that means I can't tolerate the status quo anymore without a breakdown being imminent. Problem is, I have become a passive punching bag of a person. I CAN tolerate things one should not. I am becoming so passively resigned, almost masochistic and uncommunicative, it scares me. I'm just passively observing my life rot and starting to find it hard to care about it. I honestly fear shutting down inside and never coming out of it.
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Anonymous55397, bluekoi, BrownHat22, Christina86, connect.the.stars, MtnTime2896, PenguinExMachina, Rohag, Shazerac, Skeezyks

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  #2  
Old Dec 16, 2016, 10:21 PM
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Rohag Rohag is offline
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This description of yours impressed me:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Onward2wards View Post
...depression-on-steroids-with-profound-apathy-on-top type stuff.
You want to take the brakes off yourself, but you "don't." Is that "don't" more of a "can't?" Has any professional offered you an opinion on your current state?

Concerned for you...
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  #3  
Old Dec 17, 2016, 04:34 PM
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Skeezyks Skeezyks is offline
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Yeah... the Skeezyks has been there for so long, he wouldn't know how to live any other way. Only difference is I've lived this way for so long, it no longer matters. Hope you find a way to ease off of those brakes... gently... no more punching bag!
  #4  
Old Dec 17, 2016, 05:35 PM
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Shazerac Shazerac is offline
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Stay safe. Sounds like you are having a rough day ride. Can you talk with a therapist or someone who help you?
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  #5  
Old Dec 17, 2016, 09:14 PM
Onward2wards Onward2wards is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2010
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At least I am feeling improvement today. For "don't" or "can't" I'll substitute "want to, but finding it a big challenge". I'm using every psychological self-help technique I've ever learned right now, and finding it does take the edge off of things.

Thanks for replying.
Hugs from:
MtnTime2896, Rohag
Thanks for this!
Rohag
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