Starting to lose hope for myself?

Hi, I'm 16 and it feels like
I screw up everything. Get attached to everyone. I get hurt so much.
I don't have friends, I've withdrawn from family, and I can't keep a girlfriend. I've been deprived of real social relationships so much throughout my whole life that I seem to cling to everyone and seem annoying. I lack hobbies and interests. I have very low self esteem. I can barely care for myself. I'm moody all the time (irritated, then happy for a moment, mostly very easily irritated)
I don't know what's wrong with me or why I do things I do. I seem to WANT myself to be hurt lately. I even put myself in toxic relationships that I know won't last which is hurtful to me because of my attachment issues.
And I insult people a lot, which in my mind is playful, but it just comes out and probably hurts them. Im not good at healthily socializing. Never have been.
I've been bullied from elementary all the way to 11th grade. This is literally the first year I haven't been bullied (well a lot) so maybe that had something to do with how I act? No idea.
I'm just so unhappy and unsatisfied. I hate myself. I'm losing so much willpower and drive to keep strong and fake emotions. Sorry I have literally no one to talk to about these things. No associates or anything. So I just vent on something sometimes...
I think i wanna get better. not sure how but i do. i've thought of suicide so much for the past few weeks that idk what i'm gonna do.

can you ask you parents to take you to the dr. Print this out and give it to them? You need to see a therapist.

Sounds like you have some painful issues to deal with. Please tell your parents about this and ask for help. If they won't help try calling a crisis hotline or a councilor at school. There is help and hope for you. You just have to ask for it.

This is literally my thoughts and life summed up into one post. I'm 17. I feel the same way with attachments and being easily irritated and seeming to screw up everything. It's weird feeling dissatisfied with life at such a young age since we as teens have such a world ahead of us. Having a low self esteem sucks especially when it goes so far as to mess up relationships and hobbies. I agree with the other posters that reaching out to a family member or guidance counselor would be wise, however it is scary. I for one just don't have supportive people around me at all. So maybe if that is your case a hotline would be nice to talk to. I am finding kidshelpphone really therapeutic right now.

Please hang in there, you are not alone. I empathize with you and I recognize your struggle

I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad right now. Please do see a doctor and a counselor--give that a chance to work for you.
Sending healing thoughts your way

I'm 18, I relate to your struggle.. I'm really sorry Please, seek help.

Hi,
16 is a very bad age. You undergo hormone changes, there are problems with relationships,especially with the opposite sex. The childhood experiences, especially bullying, is a negative. The saving grace is that you'll grow out of your problem.
It would be an advantage to talk to someone you trust, (not necessarily a therapist) but someone who would listen. Shyness is one of your main problems.
Finding a hobby or interest is also useful as it gives you less time for negative thoughts. Focusing on your studies and your future is always good.
I hope you'll get over your problems soon.

I remember going through similar experiences myself. I strongly advise finding someone to talk to whom you trust, and asap. Make yourself heard.

I remember those days, years, actually. As a teen I thought of doing some drastic things but I was too afraid to act. That's a good thing because a few years later I had a totally perspective of the situation. I waited much too long to get a therapist. Best thing I ever did. Hold on. You're worth it.