[Alchemy]

Hi, I've been taking pills for 22 days (since 12/dec )

the thing is. pills have done nothing for me. I still feel terrible. but a few things have changes.

well the first is I have a nervous breakdown almost every night. not sure if it's the pills fault.

I feel just so incredibly anxious and sad. and at times I feel well. nothing! weird....

I still am always tired as heck and I feel like an Undead raised from the grave all day.

and there's another thing... well... I used to think I have gender dysphoria. after taking the pills to be honest... I don't care at all... that would be great! but I just... I don't know... feel... kind of... explainable! It's like I don't even know what I want or what's wrong with me anymore. A few days ago I did something incredibly stupid, I cut my arms and legs from the anxiety. after that I also stopped drinking coffee too. (maybe that's the reason I feel so weird? I had stomach issues too.)

anyway I take chlorodiazepoxide 10 (I assume the 10 is the dosage) and some other pills that says Asentra sertaline 100mg

anyone can help me?

[Alchemy]

I forgot to add that I'm always either biting my hands or pushing something because I'm incredibly anxious.

And I have a huge problem sleeping. I stay awake all night.
Last night for example I spent the whole night thinking about the videos I watched which were against transgender people and was wondering and being anxious about this. whether I'm making the right decision coming out to my therapist in 3-2 weeks. or if I'm delusional or crazy. I think I feel asleep at 5am. I usually get really frustrated and for some reason I drink coffee when I get frustrated. but after stomach issues and my father fighting me for drinking a lot of coffee I stopped.

[*Laurie*]

Hi Alchemy, You need to discuss with your pdoc about your medication not helping you. By now you should feel some relief. Maybe you need a higher dose, or maybe different meds. Good luck to you!

[ABC1357]

I also started medication recently, and the doctor told me it usually takes 2-6 weeks for antidepressant to kicks in, so I should be patient with it unless I have side effect. So, maybe keep taking it until your next appointment, and tell the doctor everything you wrote here. Your doctor may change your pill, dose, or you may just need to wait.

[Alchemy]

Thanks for your response!
but what about me being really really anxious and the other stuff?
and gender dysphoria! and overall zombieness.

I haven't been open to my therapist really. I just told him I have depression. Hoping the dysphoria would go away with the anti-depressants. to be honest they're half-gone. But I'm not sure. I feel weird.

[JustJace2u]

Depending on the med it can take awhile for it to really take effect. Also, I would talk to your pdoc (if you have one) and try to be more open and honest with your therapist. I know what a struggle it can be as I have been having the same issue in terms of being open and honest, but I am working on it.

[MickeyCheeky]

I think you should be open with your therapist.. he's there to help you after all.

[Alchemy]

Thanks a lot you awesome people :C, tomorrow I'm asking my father for a visit to the therapist. and tell my therapist about it. see if I can do anything about it without telling my father or if he can help or anything.

[Misterpain]

For a person with anxiety coffee can be like jet fuel , consider switching to half caffeine for awhile and taper down the amount you drink by increasing the amount of decaf until it's straight unleaded decaf, this could help your anxiety and possible help for your sleep, drinking caffeine after 12 noon can keep you up . As others have said take advantage ot the time you have with the therapist, and be completely upfront with them that is the only way they can help , bring all your issues to the table lay them out and ask the therapist to help you prioritize the impact each has on your life and happiness ,both current and future , therapists can help you resolve the stumbling blocks , gender dysphoria may be an issue that they can help you decide if it's holding you back from a decent life, therapists can only be as much help as you let them , so don't hold things back, they are not there to judge only observe and help you sort anything holding you back .
When medication is first started many people feel sort of numb, this should change , however keep your prescriber aware of how you feel and any side effects on every visit ,and keep every appointment , an investment know of your time can pay off big later.

[Alchemy]

Thanks! my father is going to get an appointment soon. I haven't told him but until then in secret I'm gonna use coffee and a well... drug!

I get so anxious that all I can do is too listen to pun rock/metal and drink coffee!

the funny thing is that I installed a video game on my PC (Rocket league if it helps ) I almost forgot about all my problems and anxiety for the whole day! maybe I can play games until the appointment!

And I treat everything in science point of view! I think if I bring it up in the same way I brought my depression (the whole session took 10 minutes. and I got the pills :|) he would be less judgmental! and not act very fast. in my country things are a bit different :|

It's funny, they execute homosexual people. and support transgender people :| (the government not people) I'm gonna pretend I'm gay, hoping it would help. but my therapist might not be religious :c

thanks again for all the great help :!