[collegefriend]

why do i??? UGHHHHHHHHH. i thought this would be a great summer and it has been i love the kids but dang, every night i sit in my room and i think what could i have done better? how can i help these kids more? i can i help S more? What have i done this time that he won't talk to me.
all i feel like is that i am letting people down that i am not doing my best but i am im trying so hard. trying so hard that its wearing me down but i can't stop i have to keep going. i can't let anyone down: my family, friends, the kids i work with, the program i work for. but i think most of all i don't want to let myself down. All i want is for everything to go away no, i dont know what i want. ughh i feel so stupid and child like complaining like this but its so hard. i know life is supposed to be hard but d*** does it have to be this hard???
My friends are dropping out of school, getting majorly into drugs and drinking. And i feel like i can't do anything. I have tried talking to her but she just doesn't listen. I hate to see her lose her life like this and that is what shes doing!! She told me the other day that she thinks she might be pregnant. I was about to freak out if she has a kid its going to have so many problems cause she has been stoned almost everynight for the past month. I feel like calling her parents and telling them whats going on that J needs help, but i don't want her to be mad at me, but i would rather her hate me for the rest of her life then for her not to have a life at all!!! Oh and S is mad at me again i don't know what i did this time but i feel like i can't do anything around him. I don't want to lose him i really don't but it drives me CRAZY to just sit and do nothing around him. I feel like i have to be the person that he always comes too (Which i am and i don't mind) but i have no one to go to cause i cant go to him cause i don't want to make things worse for him.

well now that i am in tears in the school computer lab, i think i am going to stop writting thanks for listening everyone, i hope i didn't waste anyones time. Im sorry for the first post that i have written in a while to be this one. im sorry.
andrea

<font color=red> It's hard being a snowflake in a world of Cheerios!</font color=red>

[SeptemberMorn]

All you can do is your best! Some people are in "receptive mode" and some just aren't.

There's nothing wrong with questioning yourself about what you can do better or how to better help someone, but don't expect perfection or miracles. It takes two, you know. All you can do is your best. That's all any of us is expected to do.

Be sure to be as kind to yourself as you are to others. You need it and deserve it!




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

Sweetheart, you don't have to apologize to us...we've been there, or are there. Life has it's ups and down, the only problem is when we fail to pick ourselves up.
You're a good person, and should stop feeling so much pressure to "BE" everything for your friends. "Free will" is amazing...your friend "J" and also "S" perhaps will never understand what they're missing out on, but you have a friend here.
((((((((((COLLEGEFRIEND))))))))))
Love,
Jon

KICK THE CABLE HABIT!!! http://www.vmcsatellite.com/?aid=84152

[Fuzzybear]

I can't concentrate to read a thing today but I want to send you some hugs

((((((((((((((((collegefriend))))))))))))))))

Love,
Fuzzy