And it's hitting me really quickly. Scarily so.

I don't trust how I feel and am scared of where it is headed already, which is never a good sign.

I just wish there was a way I could stop it in its tracks..

[Skeezyks]

[Fuzzybear]

[JustJace2u]

I am sort of going through the same thing. I just got home from seeing my t and yet again told her I'm just tired of this roller coaster ride. She asked me if I was feeling suicidal and I said no, which for the moment at least is true. Ever since I got out of the hospital at the beginning of December I have had a daily struggle with trying to not go down that path again. There are days when I do want it to end, but then I just have to keep reminding myself that it doesn't have to be this way, as hard as it seems at times. Sending hugs your way.

[ABC1357]

We will go through it together, as a community

[JustJace2u]

Originally Posted by ABC1357

We will go through it together, as a community

I agree with this.

Originally Posted by JustJace2u

I am sort of going through the same thing. I just got home from seeing my t and yet again told her I'm just tired of this roller coaster ride. She asked me if I was feeling suicidal and I said no, which for the moment at least is true. Ever since I got out of the hospital at the beginning of December I have had a daily struggle with trying to not go down that path again. There are days when I do want it to end, but then I just have to keep reminding myself that it doesn't have to be this way, as hard as it seems at times. Sending hugs your way.

It scares me how quickly this can change though. When I woke up this morning I could safely say I wasn't suicidal. But somehow throughout the day that seems to have changed. I feel like I can't survive another crisis like the last.

Hi HalloweenSkye...

What do you need to do to make sure you're safe tonight?

(And I totally get how it can change at the drop of a hat)

I think i'll be safe. Putting the rum away and switching my light off for some sleep would probably help though. It's just that when I get like this I seem to want to make it worse for myself and that makes absolutely no sense.

Sometimes sleep is the best escape. I usually can't wait to shut the world out.

Make sure to reach out if you need to. You're needed here and I'm sure lots of others need you, too.

Get some sleep....

[JustJace2u]

Originally Posted by HalloweenSkye

It scares me how quickly this can change though. When I woke up this morning I could safely say I wasn't suicidal. But somehow throughout the day that seems to have changed. I feel like I can't survive another crisis like the last.

I agree about how scary it can be. Being in the hospital made me realize that I need to do some serious work on myself in hopes of that not happening again. My mood seems to fluctuate at times throughout the day and it pisses me off to no end.

[Sunlaien]

Originally Posted by HalloweenSkye

I think i'll be safe. Putting the rum away and switching my light off for some sleep would probably help though. It's just that when I get like this I seem to want to make it worse for myself and that makes absolutely no sense.

I understand this-- how you can feel it happening and instead of doing proactive things, it almost seems like that knowledge just makes it worse and more desperate.

But you reached out here. You have us. And you are aware, which probably hasn't always been the case. Hang in there. I wish there was a switch where we could just flip the channel and be okay but it sometimes is a process. Utilizing some self care and coping strategies are always helpful. Talk to us on the forum. And we'll get past this together.

It's been a rough few days for me. But I just have faith that this too shall pass. I have been here before. And I can get through this. And so can you. *hugs*

[MtnTime2896]

As you know, I go through the same thing. Hits me like a train every time. I avoid alcohol when I feel it coming on, or even when I feel high as a kite. After all, it is a depressant, but I'm also not going to preach about that on my fake "high horse", considering I know I'm an alcoholic. I have no right to tell you to quit, but I will ask that you keep cautious with it. Reafer is a nice counter, sometimes.

Thanks, I know you are right. I have a bad relationship with alcohol which has been ongoing for years, I don't consider myself an alcoholic but I do at least accept it's not healthy. I did cut down quite a bit recently, but Christmas and New Year threw that out the window and reminded me just how much I like a drink.

[Fuzzybear]

I also like alcohol, I agree with So Leigheas (I try to be cautious and papa bear limits how much I drink even if I didn't self moderate which I probably would )

It's great that you cut down, even if it didn't appear to help much, hopefully it will..


(Not meaning to preach )

[waterknob1234]

Hi HalloweenSkye. Sending love and hugs your way. Hang in there. I know it's rough. I think sometimes the post-holiday season is a little hard too.