[Fuzzybear]

...............

Why am I only useful to support others?

And yet (according to the family of origin) I was a "very selfish young lady"

I could write a book on their selfish and mean words and actions

And according to a doctor I was.... I won't even repeat that, he hurt me beyond words

Why is it so hard for us not to take ourselves down?

[Rohag]

((((((( Fuzzybear )))))))

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Why is it so hard for us not to take ourselves down?

This is a basic question with many "answers".

I'm inclined to believe that self-hate takes on a life of its own, especially when it begins deep in childhood.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Rohag

((((((( Fuzzybear )))))))

This is a basic question with many "answers".

I'm inclined to believe that self-hate takes on a life of its own, especially when it begins deep in childhood.

I think so too, pointing sticks at a child, beating them, calling them "selfish".....(and too many other names to list)

The models I had on how to be "adult" were.... "sub optimal"

[MommaD]

Oh my dear the pain behind your words is so hard to hear. I see you all over the forums offering support and encouragement to so many people. You are NOT a selfish person, that's very clear.
Doctors can be the biggest uncaring douche canoes in the world and our families can hurt us the most because that's where we expect to be safe and protected. It's easy to say ignore them and so hard to do. But the truth of you is not what they say about you. Ever.
Virtual hugs coming your way!!

[MtnTime2896]

"Why am I only useful to support others?

And yet (according to the family of origin) I was a "very selfish young lady""

Would anyone accept abuse if they felt they were selfless and worth more? No. In order for a kid to take a punishment, they have to know what they did wrong. They'll take any answer, even if it's a lie. Any abuser has a few common characteristics of each other. By calling you selfish, it sounds like projection and an inability to take blame, even as they did it. They, after all, cannot be held responsible for a such a vile act that society frowns on. They have to look good and in order to do that, they made you look bad. To make you look bad effectively, it was their goal to make you believe their lies. Force you to play a part in their fantasy, of sorts. They were all bastards who (likely) became what they endured at some point. Unfortunately, you were chosen as the victim. I'm very sorry for that, Fuzzy.

[Clara22]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

...............

Why am I only useful to support others?

And yet (according to the family of origin) I was a "very selfish young lady"

I could write a book on their selfish and mean words and actions

And according to a doctor I was.... I won't even repeat that, he hurt me beyond words

Why is it so hard for us not to take ourselves down?

I feel for you, Fuzzy
People say many things. Our family members say many things. And many things that people say somehow reflect what is in their minds rather than reality. Many times people project their own limitations and fear on others. They tell you "you are selfish" while in fact they themselves are the selfish ones. They get nuts when they see you living your sexuality freely or even when they see you using a short skirt and call you a prostitute while they are deeply afraid of succumbing to their own instincts. That is why we cannot take what people say about us so seriously. But it hurts anyway.
And when you are a kid derogatory comments coming from authority figures are devastating. This is a real karma. Wish we had a time machine
Sending you a big hug