[pppp3]

Ok,
First I must start by saying, in big, bold, and joyful tone,

Happy New Year to Us All.

---Don't smack me ---

Now for the truth...
How Un-Happy I've been...

So unhappy and alone on both holidays,
that for the first time in my entire life,
regardless of how hard I tried,
I didn't get dressed or eat but was instead immersed or rather immobilized with thoughts of how thankful I'd be
if I had a sudden heart attack or something (and died)
so I would not have to wake up, and feel that awful again on the next day.

If you felt like me last night and today,

and/or in the weeks before both Christmas and New Years the same way, when

"Happy" and "Merry" was replaced with feelings such as,
Dread, Hurt, Depression, Panic, Remorse, Anger, Fear +

drowning in the sadness/pain of not
having the type of holiday season that you've had in other years
(surrounded by friends, family and the peace of knowing you are valued and loved) ?
Or
Maybe you've never had that type of "happy" holiday season, it seems everybody else always has ?

Regardless,
if the "Happy" and "Merry" did not exist,
and UN-Merry and UN-Happy were feelings you simply could not shake off,
I simply wanted you to know that you were not alone,

And although I'm still feeling very UN-Happy in this post very UN-Merry Season, I just decided that for a little while I'm going to do something,
really nice for myself
(maybe go out and buy something really good to eat even if I can't afford it),
because when life and the world (and others) are beating us down,
sometimes there's nobody left but ourselves to treat us kindly,
and remind us that we have value, and our lives matter.

And although I can't promise you that I'll succeed, adding some happiness into my very unhappy day (and life) -

I thought by sharing this idea here and now, I'd feel obligated to do it
(*something nice and happy for myself*),

just in case somebody reads this post and asks me if I actually did.

I'm encouraging all of you to try the same thing...When life sucks, treat yourself with extra kindness because You deserve it.

Hope your Unhappy days become happy ones, and the New Year brings us all miracles.

[Skeezyks]

[pppp3]

Thanks guys for all the hugs...
I so wish I could edit/delete this thread I started, because instead of it being as * intended, it just sounds like a pathetic person, wallowing in self pity.
My intention was
* 1. To acknowledge (acceptance) that there's many of us starting the "Happy" New Year in a very "UN-happy" frame of mind...
(Which is ok, since life can really suck at times for anyone=Be unfair)...

* 2. Suggest that once we realize we're not alone with this crummy UNHAPPY feeling,
that instead of dwelling on how much it sucks (UN-Merry Christmas and UN-Happy New Year),
we instead try to do something really nice for ourselves so we can feel a little bit of Merry & Happy, even if it's just for a few minutes or hours.

Sound like good advice, right?
Turn an UN-Happy Day* into one with a little bit of Happiness).
Especially when it's a holiday, when it appears everyone else is HAPPY and celebrating.
Sometimes it's up to us ALONE to PULL a little Happiness back in...
But sadly, I FAILED on that day to follow my own advice.
Tried, really wanted to, but it just never happened.
Either way I'm really glad the Merry/Happy holiday season is over,
and right now, all I can do is hope that the next celebratory day that comes up, (I suppose Valentines Day or my birthday next month),
I and all others feeling this way (unhappy),
won't need to put so much effort into feeling "HAPPY & MERRY".

Another New Years thread here discusses how holidays are really BS.
I agree, except that I think celebratory days are sometimes necessary to REMIND us to feel and/or seek JOY (happy) -
Because without JOY, life would always suck, and who wants that? (Not me).
...I'll keep trying.

[MissCathryn]

You're not the only one that was only through the holidays. I have my boys, but I want them to have big holiday meals with their dad's family, like I did when I was little. Leaves me alone every holiday. They open presents in then morning on Christmas, then they're gone.

I'm so happy they can have a big happy holiday. But, do me, truthdully, I take 2 Xanax and sleep as long as I can because it hurts too much to be awake. Until my boys come home

Very difficult last week of 2016. I and loved ones spent a great deal of time in doctors' offices and hospitals. 2017 didn't start off any better. Visits to doctor's offices, scans, and not the greatest of results.