this feeling of inadequacy

I have this recurring feeling of inadequacy always creeping up on me. Being around other people I'm reminded again and again that I'm not like other people.
I don't talk openly about my depression and having been depressed, and therefore people don't know why I am sometimes act the way I do. Why I have certain issues around other people, why I can sometimes go quiet and get down over something that was said. I just feel inadequate to people my age in so many ways, and it's hard to deal with. It's especially hard when I deal with people I don't know that well, like colleagues, who don't know about my history which can explain why I am the way I am.

Have anyone one of you told colleagues about what you've been through. Or do you have close friends you tell it to?

Unfortunately, some of my colleagues know about my depression. I have at times become suicidal and when you work in a middle school; other staff can be more aware and have assisted with keeping me safe. Sometimes, that is a blessing. Other times, it just makes me feel more flawed and inadequate.
Today is one of the days I just hide in my office and hope that no one realizes my current frame of mind.
As for telling colleagues or friends, I find that I tend to be cautious. I don't want to be viewed as "flawed or mentally fragile". Only my closest friends are aware enough to read me...

That feeling always seems to be when comparing selves to others...

It can be instilled in childhood by uncaring or "inadequate" parents

I guess the only advice I can give is what was just given to me, "keep swimming"..... it sucks...

I have told a few people about my depression and anxiety etc, the responses were mixed..

I was very careful who I told because I was afraid it would come back to haunt me at my job. But the energy it took to keep up the facade at work and among friends and family was hellacious! And it was very isolating because if you don't admit you have a problem, you can't ask for help. In the end I told a few close friends, all of whom were very supportive, but it's always a risk when you tell someone. They may have many misconceptions about your illness and may say something (because they just don't know what to say) that hurts. If you're prepared for that response, telling friends and family can be freeing and give you back energy to put towards healing instead of faking it. Long winded way of saying: disclose carefully and be prepared

hi there
i finally told my manager about anxiety after being there for almost 14 years, especially when she was questioning why i was making mistakes at work, after being there for so long... plus our company in the last few years are really promoting the mental illness, and how people should not be afraid to be more open about it.

some of my few friends at work know about my anxiety, but i don't broadcast it to everyone....if you can find a few people who make you feel safe or are not judgemental.

as for feeling adequate, yes been there, used to compare myself alot to other people when i was younger, but as i get older, getting more comfortable in my own skin but still have a ways to go.

take care

I can totally understand your feelings of inadequacies. I too feel that. I have Schizoaffective Disorder (Depressive type). I am 27 and I feel like a failure because I can't do what other people my age can do. I hate it. However, I am very open about my diagnosis; the depression side and even the schizophrenia side. I talk about it sometimes on Facebook. If people are uncomfortable with it then they can leave. But don't get me wrong that rejection would hurt me very badly.

I would either tell supervisors or close friends... at least people I thought to be able to be considered close friends.
I always say things like "I have allot on my head right now", or "I'm struggling with some personal issues at home". As a self-aware person with moments of depression I can tell you those are not lies.