[mulan]

I feel embarrassed admitting what makes me feel embarrassed.
When I have a very social profession, with lots of contact and communication to peers, how can I admit social relations make me nervous.
I don't want to change what I do. I don't want people to tell me I should instead do this and that. I don't want my fears to limit who I can be. I don't want my fears to do the chose instead of me.
But I feel like a fraud. I am afraid I am not capable of. I fear other people look at me and judge my options based on how shy I am.
How can I know if I can do something if I never try?
But is this only about option, and fight or should I only go to were I feel comfortable because it is best for my physical and mental health? Can I really win my fears? Am I being proud for not accepting them? Or should I live knowing I am limited?

I don't want to think I am not capable. But what I deep down I feel like I will never be. And that just makes me feel bad about myself. It adds to the self hate. In fact I am hating myself right now and thinking that I must be stupid.

Do things really improve with time? And I am just imagine people thinking how incapable I am.

[gayleggg]

I'm sure you do much better than you think. Anxiety can rule our lives or we can choose to rise above it. Sounds like you want to rise above it. Keep trying. I'm sure no one is judging you as hard as you are.

Originally Posted by mulan

I feel embarrassed admitting what makes me feel embarrassed.
When I have a very social profession, with lots of contact and communication to peers, how can I admit social relations make me nervous.
I don't want to change what I do. I don't want people to tell me I should instead do this and that. I don't want my fears to limit who I can be. I don't want my fears to do the chose instead of me.
But I feel like a fraud. I am afraid I am not capable of. I fear other people look at me and judge my options based on how shy I am.
How can I know if I can do something if I never try?
But is this only about option, and fight or should I only go to were I feel comfortable because it is best for my physical and mental health? Can I really win my fears? Am I being proud for not accepting them? Or should I live knowing I am limited?

I don't want to think I am not capable. But what I deep down I feel like I will never be. And that just makes me feel bad about myself. It adds to the self hate. In fact I am hating myself right now and thinking that I must be stupid.

Do things really improve with time? And I am just imagine people thinking how incapable I am.

We're on a similar boat, friend.
My progress has not been short, and it's still in progress. There are many things to do in life, but you sometimes ask yourself "what's the point of doing that?". For instance, I don't like playing soccer because team sports, and sports in general, is not my strength point. I also have a fear of getting hit by the ball.
So why don't I work on my fear? Because there's nothing practical for me to obtain from this. It's just a game. If people have the right to enjoy doing team sports, I have the right to enjoy more calm activities.

Remember to know yourself and your potential much more than others say they do.
Remember to mind people according to how they mind you.
As for winning, win only what you need and want. Not what others say you need, but what you need or might need.
Try to do things you fear on your own, but only because you have a feeling you need or want to do them.

[JustJace2u]

I'm constantly asking myself similar questions. I'm battling again with SIs, albeit not quite as bad as they were previously. Sometimes I just wonder if all of the pain and suffering is worth living.

[Fuzzybear]

[Fuzzybear]

PS I don't know if people make those sorts of judgements, possibly some do - likely if they do, they are in denial of their own issues, "shortcomings" etc..

Maybe just growl at them in your mind