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  #1  
Old Jan 25, 2017, 09:20 AM
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MatBell MatBell is offline
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I'm just so irritated I left early from work. I don't know why. It takes a lot to be with other people and 'faking it' all day long. Some days are good. And if I feel overlooked and ignored, I really get angry. Then I turn inward and don't say much, and don't try to contact that person. We're in the same office.

Now I just feel hopeless and depressed about everything, my whole life, the way I act and feel. The pointlessness of everything. Perhaps I just have to accept these days knowing they will come, and (hopefully) good days will come again. Right now I just came back home, had to write something. I don't know if it makes much sense. A lot of thoughts and feelings come up in me all of a sudden. A lot of resentment too about my family not supporting me now, and my mom and dad not having been there for me when I was younger. It has caused me SO much grief and problems. If I had had a more normal upbringing I'm sure I would be a different person. A better functioning person. Anyway I just had to write some of my thoughts down.
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  #2  
Old Jan 25, 2017, 11:13 AM
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MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is offline
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I know how you feel right now.. I'm so sorry Feel free to vent here anytime. I hope you'll feel better soon..
Thanks for this!
MatBell
  #3  
Old Jan 25, 2017, 11:37 AM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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  #4  
Old Jan 25, 2017, 03:56 PM
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MatBell MatBell is offline
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Thank you. So low at the moment. Can't imagine going to work tomorrow or do anything actually. I'm just gonna end up like this again eventually. I try so hard to be well and function, and it's so hard doing it by yourself, but in the end I'm not getting much better...
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  #5  
Old Jan 25, 2017, 07:41 PM
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winter4me winter4me is offline
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Remember, each day, or hour, or any time that you do do well is just as real as the bad times. Hang in there....get some help if you can.
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/ the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris


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  #6  
Old Jan 25, 2017, 07:51 PM
skizzle360nw skizzle360nw is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2017
Location: Port Angeles
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I went through the same feelings and ended up quitting my job now I have all day to lay around and feel depressed only now come the anxiety of having no money. my advice hang in there and use your spare time to find something that brings you joy until you can find a better job. I wish you all the luck
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MatBell
  #7  
Old Jan 25, 2017, 10:25 PM
Anonymous37955
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I left my work early many times because I couldn't handle my overwhelming emotions. You mentioned something I think feeds your depression, which is when you get angry you keep it to yourself. Every time I do this I get severely depressed. Unfortunately, the only other way to deal with this for me is to let it out, which will then hurt some people. Either case has an unpleasant outcome; either hurting myself or hurting others. Maybe I have to learn some more ways to deal with my anger.
Thanks for this!
MatBell
  #8  
Old Jan 26, 2017, 05:17 AM
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MatBell MatBell is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2017
Location: Denmark
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I know work and being with people is good for me. I'm home now, I had to go to the doctor for something (non-mental health related for once) and I'm gonna go to work in a while for a meeting. I hope it will turn my mood around. The loneliness is pretty intense when I'm just at home. Would love to talk to my psychologist now. Maybe I should take her up on seeing her twice a week... Why am I always so lost in this world..? *Sigh*
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