[AbladeintheMeadow]

Lying on the settee. Listening to my family waking up. Wishing I was on my own because I can't let them see how I feel and Im going to have to just pretend & I'm just so tired. The sun''s coming through the curtains it makes me feel guilty I should want to be up & happy & doing stuff but I just want to not to anything.

I want to get in touch with a friend let them know I'm struggling but I don't want to bring them down or make them feel they need to keep in touch with me. And what would I say anyway? They've heard it all before. Nothing''s changed and I can't put into words how I feel.

I don't know which one's me anymore. Do I make myself lie here when really I want to be up? Or do I make myself get up when really I want to lie here?

I'm so confused. Sleeping is the only thing that stops the whirring thoughts & constant trying to work out what is which.

Thank you for reading x

[ogeez]

You mention you should want to be up and happy – it’s the word “should” that makes me stop and change my thoughts. Why should we- who is running the show, we are the show and who we are is OK. People listen to us because they want to, we are helping them by talking to them, its OK – call a friend, what happens is our thoughts go around and around when all we need to do is distract those thoughts, get out of our heads. Call a friend and approach it with the new you- the one who is out of bed and for that time spent with the friend, is away from thoughts, talk about anything but you, ask about them, don’t focus on your mind, let it go- you are worthy, even though you feel like you are dragging a cement block- push yourself- it feels good in the long run- good luck x

[MickeyCheeky]

If it can be helpful, we'll listen and won't judge. Maybe that can help with the stress

[AbladeintheMeadow]

Thank you both for replying. I wasn't expecting anyone to reply. I got in touch with a couple of friends & we talked about just everyday things. I made myself go out in the garden & cut back a plant I've been meaning to do for months. It was only a small plant but being outside & doing something I have been putting off for ages helped a lot. Thank you.

[laffer75]

I'm here to listen)