My ever changing depreciation

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to share and vent my feelings a bit. My self-depreciation has been very active lately, and sometimes it feels like the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy isn't working because the depreciative arguments and statements seem to be pretty sound. Basically, I just really hate myself right now. I'm drawing away from the people that I love and care about, and I can't seem to be able to open my mouth without hurting someone's feelings. I want to help people, but it seems like no one wants my help. I'm incapable of benefiting others, I'm just a parasite. Anyway, those are my thoughts right now. What methods do you use to fight your internal monologues? I also went to therapy today, but I should make that a different thread.

I know what you mean about the negative thoughts seeming pretty sound and totally logical and real, I'm going through a lot of that right now, too. Just try to remember that depression really can be incredibly deceiving and convincing, as hard as that is. I don't really have much advice, but mindfulness helps me a little bit.

Thank you. That does help to put it into perspective.

Hi BrownHat

Yes, I'd absolutely go with separating those thoughts from depression and challenging them
Remember the issue isn't with you, with who you are.........the issue is with depression.........and those thoughts are straight from the mouth of depression..........and as with the words of a bully that does not need to make them true..........they're just designed to try and make you feel bad, to doubt yourself
But you are still you inside despite all of the words/thoughts it's throwing at you........

And you know that depression can have you picking faults with yourself and blanking out the good things about yourself...........if you've tried to help someone and it hasn't worked, then that's maybe all you're going to see (in yourself!!), but why not twist it as in YOU'VE TRIED!!! Now THAT says so much positive about you........and believe me, I'm sure there would be plenty of people who may not have tried in that situation, so KUDOS!!!
And hopefully if you keep trying it might work..........it can sometimes be real hard to give some people exactly what they need/or know exactly what to say/might help with or without depression, but you're trying.......so that is brilliant!!! Give yourself real praise, and another tick in that self affirmation box!! And there's just one thing for now, maybe you can think of more..........to repeat, repeat, repeat!!!
But besides sometimes, people might reflect later on some of the things you've said in trying to help, and it may help them then, so sometimes hard to know exactly how much you've truly helped!!!

And back to CBT , who's to say that some of those people not wanting your help aren't just generally having a "bad day", or something might have happened making them less likely to want to talk/listen........it doesn't have to be about you
And you might be giving them lots of what they need in other ways e.g. someone some of them can openly open up to and vent.........but then even a negative reaction from someone teaches you more about what they want/need from you.........and sometimes that may actually be just for you to be around/to be you and let them work through things their way.......and that way you are benefiting them immeasurably in itself.

But try not to let depression pull you away from the important people in your life, I know it can be bad enough anyway (!!) but it does not deserve to do that!!!



Alison

Thank you Frankbtl, I didn't really realize that I was pulling away from those around me until I was called out on it. It's scary how those sorts of things can just happen.