[Steelbreaker05]

I'm suffering from so many things like depression, self harming, insomnia, anxiety, anorexia nervosa and over thinking since I was a teenager or since I was a kid, I was raised in a house full of fights, I saw my dad beating my mom and so many other bad things to remember, I never had that happy family cause I was born between two irresponsible parents and both of them didn't want me, I never had a hug from them so I was seeking love and care from my ex boyfriends who spoiled me, I always hated myself for being that dependent and needy.. now I'm 21 and I'm living with my mom only and we are not that close we always fight, I've went through so many relationships and I can't commit to any of it and most of them has ended with me heartbroken and trying to deal with trust issues, I can't communicate with people well, actually I'm an introvert so I don't have many friends regardless the two thousand people who are following me on social media who doesn't really know about my real life

I'm just feeling drained and empty, I feel like I'll end up alone and depressed like my mom, I never tried therapy cause I feel it wouldn't save me and because therapy in Egypt is so bad, people here are so ignorant, they don't believe in mental health even the therapists themselves, some say I'm a borderline but I'm not really sure cause I never saw a psychiatrist, but my friends who are suffering from borderline personality disorder tells me this cause I match with the symptoms of the disease, I don't know what to do I really need to know what is wrong with me so I can fix it
I'm tired of fighting an anonymous monster which is eating me from the inside I just want to know which disease I have.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Steelbreaker05: I'm sorry you are struggling. Unfortunately, I'm afraid the only way you're going to begin to learn what is going on with you is to find a mental health professional you can see. I know you wrote that mental health services where you live are not good. But I don't know what other alternative there would be.

Sometimes people engage in on-line counseling. I've never done it & it doesn't seem to me as though it could be that beneficial. But it might be something else to check into. Of course, there's going to be a charge for this type of service. Perhaps some other members, here on PC, will have some better suggestions to offer. I wish you well...

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Steelbreaker05.

Originally Posted by Steelbreaker05

...depression, self harming, insomnia, anxiety, anorexia nervosa and over thinking...raised in a house full of fights...some say I'm a borderline...

I regret your general environment is not accepting of serious consideration of what you are facing. My observation is that, no matter the set of problems, insomnia makes everything worse. It may be relatively easier for you to get help for that in the short term.

Please make yourself at home here.

[Steelbreaker05]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Hello & Welcome, Steelbreaker05.

I regret your general environment is not accepting of serious consideration of what you are facing. My observation is that, no matter the set of problems, insomnia makes everything worse. It may be relatively easier for you to get help for that in the short term.

Please make yourself at home here.

Thank you so much for caring, insomnia is a real another pain I've been suffering from it since I was 12 maybe And I still don't know how to get rid of it

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you're suffering so much.. We'll listen tou what you have to say here. Perhaps you could at least try a therapist and see how it goes. I know you don't have much confidence, but maybe it's worth trying at least once? I'm not sure.

But we'll always be here

[wlta23]

Originally Posted by Steelbreaker05

I'm suffering from so many things like depression, self harming, insomnia, anxiety, anorexia nervosa and over thinking since I was a teenager or since I was a kid, I was raised in a house full of fights, I saw my dad beating my mom and so many other bad things to remember, I never had that happy family cause I was born between two irresponsible parents and both of them didn't want me, I never had a hug from them so I was seeking love and care from my ex boyfriends who spoiled me, I always hated myself for being that dependent and needy.. now I'm 21 and I'm living with my mom only and we are not that close we always fight, I've went through so many relationships and I can't commit to any of it and most of them has ended with me heartbroken and trying to deal with trust issues, I can't communicate with people well, actually I'm an introvert so I don't have many friends regardless the two thousand people who are following me on social media who doesn't really know about my real life

I'm just feeling drained and empty, I feel like I'll end up alone and depressed like my mom, I never tried therapy cause I feel it wouldn't save me and because therapy in Egypt is so bad, people here are so ignorant, they don't believe in mental health even the therapists themselves, some say I'm a borderline but I'm not really sure cause I never saw a psychiatrist, but my friends who are suffering from borderline personality disorder tells me this cause I match with the symptoms of the disease, I don't know what to do I really need to know what is wrong with me so I can fix it
I'm tired of fighting an anonymous monster which is eating me from the inside I just want to know which disease I have.

Looks like my life story

[Steelbreaker05]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm sorry you're suffering so much.. We'll listen tou what you have to say here. Perhaps you could at least try a therapist and see how it goes. I know you don't have much confidence, but maybe it's worth trying at least once? I'm not sure.

But we'll always be here

I feel like it's gonna hurt me to try therapy here

[Clara22]

Originally Posted by Steelbreaker05

I feel like it's gonna hurt me to try therapy here

maybe you can try to get medical help for your insomnia. Also some alternative stuff such as yoga or meditation
Do you have any subject that you care about? For example women rights, childhood, or a hobby, anything? Sometimes, interest groups are good, you meet with people that embrace a cause you care about and then you get some secondary benefits from it.
At least, when you do something you care about, you experience flow
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology)

[Clara22]

Sorry I am telling you all these things like a recipe. These are things that helped me, but at the end of the day when I was too low, I had to go to the hospital and I got psychiatric attention. Also, I got medical attention because I had a physical illness, as well. But, anyway, there are not recipes. I do not want to overwhelm you with useless advice

[Steelbreaker05]

Originally Posted by Clara22

maybe you can try to get medical help for your insomnia. Also some alternative stuff such as yoga or meditation
Do you have any subject that you care about? For example women rights, childhood, or a hobby, anything? Sometimes, interest groups are good, you meet with people that embrace a cause you care about and then you get some secondary benefits from it.
At least, when you do something you care about, you experience flow
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology)

Did you try meditation ways? How can I start doing yoga or meditation I'm so excited about it

[Clara22]

Originally Posted by Steelbreaker05;5483u had848

Did you try meditation ways? How can I start doing yoga or meditation I'm so excited about it

I took yoga clases in a group. We had a pretty good instructor. Also, I did meditation with a couple as a way to manage my anxiety before a surgery. I did not do it for a long time but I used it at the hospital and helped me a lot. I had a colleague at work that was much more advanced than me because she practiced meditation every day. She had a master. There are associations that teach yoga for free or low cost. And association that introduce you into meditation, as well