[MtnTime2896]

"I try so hard to fly, but my heart won't go very far. No, no. And my own two hands will start bleeding, again. And the floor will turn to, to a hole in the ground.

Do not be alarmed if I fall into the sun. If I fall-

My own two hands will start bleeding, and then, they will lower me into, to a hole in the ground." - Tyler Joseph, 'Hole In The Ground'.

People are asking me how I'm doing, a lot lately. I think their instincts are kicking in and noticing that I'm different. Makes sense, I guess. I keep lying or just deflecting the questions. I don't want to answer them. If I were to, though, this quote would be my explanation. Hell, the entire song would be. "You will fly on your own, 'cause you got a letter. You must find, find your home and it won't get much better" because my heart won't fly. It can't.

You're the type that doesn't want to disappoint your friends and depression is so pitifully unfun to talk about. It's easier to cuss, hate, and self harm than to really take time to feel your depression and some of the underlying issues that cause it. We know. I am just glad that you post every once in a while. Posting a line from a lyric from 21 pilots is enough to let us know you haven't fallen into the earth--sometimes we can't handle talking about all our negative thoughts day in and day out. I get it. I hope it gets better and that you can get help. I am pretty sure that you haven't been getting medical help lately. It has been working for many reasons. Has it? Bad care, not having adequate access to care. Money talks! Emergency rooms are ill-equipped and frequently flunk the grade when it comes to mental health! Getting locked up for being loco is even worse. As Fuzzy says---GRRRR!

[Fizzyo]

[Fuzzybear]