It's like waking up to a nightmare

On top of having depression, my ex boyfriend broke up with me while I was held in a mental facility and kicked me out. Now I am home with family. This happened a little over a month ago.

He wasn't a bad guy, he did the right thing. And although I wouldn't be with him again given the chance (I realized it's for the best)... I feel a surge of loneliness and emptiness every morning and I feel like there is no reason to live. I lost my home. I can't stop thinking about my life when I lived with him. Because not only was it him I lost, it was the area that I miss. I also feel like I won't be happy with someone again and love them the same. It al happened so quickly, like the rug being ripped from under me. One night he loves me and brings me spare clothes to change into at the facility, the next he dumps me.

I'm currently awaiting graduate school admissions and trying to stay hopeful. But even that can end badly. Everything just seems so... superficial. Like, life lacks substance. Lately, I've been curling into fetal position on my bed crying and having bad migraines because I'm so depressed. I need some hope to grasp onto.

You know what's worst is people tell me I shouldn't worry because I am smart and attractive, which to them equates to having purpose. But little do they know that I struggle each day to get by. And my sadness is invalidated. It hurts to live.

Anyone have any similar stories? About overcoming this insanely painful feeling of loneliness, emptiness, AND heartbreak? Sorry if I'm too vague or not coherent, I am a mess right now..

I think many people here have had those feelings. Depression has this evil way of pushing away the people who matter the most in ones life....Husband, Wife, family....loved ones...and the kicker is most don't know how to handle depressed individuals...often distancing themselves also. But there is hope...there are support groups you can talk to, medications to help you...and most of all other people in the world who have more understanding and support for us with this disease. This site can be very helpful...becasuse you are not alone with your hurts...and feelings of despair...hope this helps alittle..Artie