[whisperingskye]

I'm trying to be proactive and get a handle on this before it goes too far. Honestly I might already be there, but denial is a wonderful thing.

Today is not going well. I thought yesterday was bad, but today is worse. It would be easier to just give up and curl up under a rock or something. That little voice telling me to just go ahead and kill myself because it will be better that way has reared its ugly head again.

I'm trying to arrange getting back on meds or something, just in case it makes any difference. I have an appointment with my pdoc arranged already but it's not for another 6 weeks. Trying to speed it up but it's unlikely. I can't last 6 weeks like this.

I'm at a bit of a loss I guess.

[BlueMerleGirl]

If it is that bad you need to make an emergency appointment with your pdoc, make sure they know how urgent it is. Especially if you are a current patient they should be able to get you in

[wiretwister]

Originally Posted by whisperingskye

I'm trying to be proactive and get a handle on this before it goes too far...

That little voice telling me to just go ahead and kill myself because it will be better that way has reared its ugly head again.

I'm trying to arrange getting back on meds or something,

I'm at a bit of a loss I guess.

distraction ... when you can get your mind on anything else even for a little while .. it helps ...

don't laugh but I was there with you , and by shear dumb luck stumbled on an you tube video that has made all the difference for me ... even better than my meds ... I had an immediate reaction ... I know they may never happen for anyone else but there has too be something out there that will give you that (hope) to want to see the sun rise tomorrow ... never give up looking ... there is something out there for you ... I am sure ...

pm anytime ..Tigger.

[Misterpain]

All doctors keep appointments open for emergencies , although most offices over book between 3-5 patients for the same time slot, because lots of people forget there appointment or have something more pressing come up and either call and cancel or just don't call or show , that's the reason sometimes you go to a doctor for an appointment and have to wait around an hour, that means that like 2 people showed up for the same appointment and now the doctor is running behind , it must suck to have two people saying here's a $100 bucks at the same time , poor doctor ! But there should be both emergency appointments as well as a cancellation list ,so if they have everyone remember there appointment but cancel they call you in so they still get paid , don't settle for no and if you feel strongly like hurting yourself go to the nearest Emergency department for help .

Misterpain

[whisperingskye]

Emergency appointments are not quite so simple here. I have no direct communication with my pdoc or even her receptionist. Everything is arranged through my care coordinator. I saw her today and explained how things are as best I could. Asked if there was any chance I could be seen sooner, she just said that my pdoc is busy but she would speak to her to see if there were any cancellations and get back to me. Failing that maybe the pdoc can phone me. I just know from past experience I'm probably just going to have to wait the 6 weeks.

[Fuzzybear]

[MtnTime2896]

That's an incredibly long wait. If you can't make it (and you know I'm not a fan of this) there's always the hospital option for emergencies. Avoiding that is great but at the same time, whatever keeps you alive.

And I'm still not noticing any feces in the crevasses of my computer.

(You'll know what that means, to everyone else I probably just seem even more off my rocker, now.)

[whisperingskye]

you just have to know where to look I guess

Last time I got out of hospital I swore to myself never again. Thankfully I'm not in emergency situation as yet but I will try to keep it in mind if it comes to that. They may have to drag me in kicking and screaming though...

[Misterpain]

That's how most people go kicking and screaming a friend of mine who works on a BH unit says that most people who come in could be the sweetest of people but for about the first three days , most people don't show there personality or humor or anything that makes us who we are .

So kicking and screaming is kind of the "norm" they might suspect something is wrong if your happy to see them ,I can hear Michael Sembello's song from the original flash dance soundtrack ( I say original because I don't think Hollywood has had an original thought in years , they just turn out remakes or turn them into TV shows ) .