I am so depressed right now.

It's like i don't wanna talk to anyone. i don't know if this is just hormones.. I'll check if music helps me.

I hope it does and you start feeling better

((((((hugs)))

Thank.you!!

Okay from now on this would be my depression diary.

Last Friday i was actually happy.. I don't know whenever i don't like to associate with other people, i became depressed.

Last Friday i suppose to have a club meeting **** in my area, i am a volunteer there.. But just because I'm lazy i didn't go and just because i wanna sleep early to go to another place the other day, i didn't go.. And the other day, i went on a language class it's actually free.. I feel so out of place.. It's like no one wants to talk with me.. Well, i don't know i don't feel like talking with others too. This is probably hormones.. Because there's times that i have the energy to be sociable.. Which is really needed in this society in order to survive.. But if you try to be passive then you'll be a loser.. Well, i don't care actually. I just feel bad because i feel like im out of place. And i don't have the energy to even smile. probably it's really my fault.. Anyways, **** happens.. And i won't go there anymore.. I remember the girl asked me before i go home, "did u have a good time?!"
I really forced myself to say this words, and fake a smile..
"yes. I enjoyed."

Then after that... The next day which is today, i went to a far far away church... I didn't anymore attend language exchange.. Well i kinda don't feel like associating too that i immediately get out of there.. Because before i have someone with me.. But that some one doesn't wanna go there anymore. so i went alone.. It's like you know, people are just being friendly for the sake of being friendly.. I hate social **** actually.. Eversince.. I miss my old friends.. I'm actually living in a new country now that's why it's kinda lonely.. I dunno.. But, i think days are getting worse? For me.. T.T

I have pms. Probably one factor of this depression is pms..

After two weeks, i hope i will be fine again.. I don't wanna like this feeling. I miss my home. my real home 🏡 with my parents.

I didn't know it's so hard to be an adult.. I don't want a boyfriend either.. I fear they just might hurt me.. Or anything.. I don't wanna cry anymore.

It's so hard to be an independent adult.. I'm just listening 👂 to some good music 🎶 now.. Music of early 2000s where I'm still free.. Free from any responsibilities..

I really thought school life is the worst, but school life you meet friends there.. But now being an adult it sucks..

hey.

how are you doing?

are you feeling any better

Hey, dear one. I sometimes think we overplay the wonderfulness of adulthood. Hey, I can make my own decisions, then, we think. But adulthood brings many responsibilities.

Staying away from people could be going along with your depression. We avoid things we enjoyed in the past.

Do you see a therapist? I have found them to be very supportive and helpful. And if need be, you can take an anti-depressant to get you back to your old self.

You'll be okay! Keep in touch. We care. And, of course, all of us here have been where you are.

Thank you! Guess what?!! I'm totally okay now! And I'm gonna take a hot shower 🚿

Have a nice day! 😘

Yessss! Thanks for checking me out! I'm totally fine now. It's just hormones.

I'm happy again xD again xD again xD and I'm gonna take a long hot shower 🚿 whew.. With the music on. This is life baby 👶

I am glad you are feeling better.

that's a good thing about depression, sometimes you can feel really low, and the next day, totally fine.

I love it when that happens

Yeah indeed! XD i don't know what happened, i just threw out my dildo. XD

Okay. update to my own thread of how depressed i am..

Well, some days are good. Some days are bad.. Last Friday night was awesome. I am so very happy that time!
But now, I'm sad again hahaha. BUT, I'm trying not too. I thought to myself, what are the things that can make me feel happy?

I actually woke up early today.. And I'm planning to go to the island with many cats xD hihi. I'm gonna chill out there this morning and be one with nature. and I'm gonna go to church later.. It's a new church actually haha! I'm trying to find a church that fits me..

That's all. i will choose to be happy and to be positive eventhough i feel like not being positive! Alright!!

I feel so depressed again and i feel like I'm a trash today. I masturbated last night using my fingers only btw. And i already threw my dildo. I discovered my ***** got loosen up due to dildo usage.

Good luck!