[BlueMerleGirl]

My depression at the moment is mild to moderate and I don't feel awful or anything. But one continual theme in my head is that life has no meaning. I don't feel that every day but I do a lot of days. It's like I just don't see the point. When I was younger and in school I was goal oriented. I wanted to graduate, have a career, get married, have kids. Well I have that career. I am married. And I have a 13 month old daughter. I am in the field I want to be in but my job just isn't all the that satisfying and involves a lot of mundane work and a lot of cleaning because they won't hire someone to help clean and because there is a lot of construction going on which makes things chaotic. (I work in a lab as a scientist). But I have a good position and I'm in my field and have the chance to do very amazing things. But for some reason it doesn't feel satisfying like it "should". Also, I love my daughter and husband. And I know I need to be here for them. But it just doesn't feel right. When I'm at home I sometimes get depressed because I have so many chores to do and because I don't really have hobbies. At work I always look forward to going home like most people do but I don't often enjoy myself that much while I'm there. I am trying to take my mind off how I am feeling and just live, so maybe that will help.

But how do you guys find meaning? I don't really want to advance much further in my career because I don't want more responsibility. I am thinking of having more kids but I don't know.

Well, you said you're goal-oriented and it seems you have reached your goals as if you've accomplished everything you've ever desired and now there's no desire, hence the depressive feelings.
You seem a bit disappointed with your work, too.
Perhaps you'd like to consider looking beyond the usual goals (job, marriage, family, home, etc) and find other goals such as hobbies, more family activities.
"At first, an oak grows tall. Then, it grows more sideways"
~Me

[wiretwister]

Originally Posted by BlueMerleGirl

But one continual theme in my head is that life has no meaning. I am trying to take my mind off how I am feeling and just live, so maybe that will help.

But how do you guys find meaning? I don't really want to advance much further in my career because I don't want more responsibility. I am thinking of having more kids but I don't know.

welcome to being an adult in 2017 .... I would say 90% of all working adults feel as you do ... I know I do ...

to not put too fine a point on it ... life has no meaning ... any meaning it has is because we give meaning to it ... so ... what meaning do you want it to have ... work .. family .. home chores ... take a lot out of one ... what are you doing to refill yourself ... life will empty you out ... there must be a source of filling or you will get more and more depressed , empty and worn down ... when your child is older you can be involved in school and her life ... but now ... what do you do ... where does your bliss lie ... seek that and you will fill yourself ... what brought you joy as a child ... start there ... when you find it you will know ... for years mine was helping with boy scouts ... do this for yourself ... when you are refilled you will be a better worker ... wife ... mother ... human ... happy hunting .... Tigger.

I asked this question before, and the discussion led me to read a book called A Confession for Leo Tolstoy (a small book of about 100 pages). His conclusion didn't satisfy me. However, it made me think maybe asking "what is the meaning of life" is the wrong question to ask. Have you wondered what is the meaning of, let's say, a butterfly's or an elephant's or a tiger's life? Have you wondered what these animals do everyday and why?

[BlueMerleGirl]

Thanks everyone for your replies. mr stranger thanks for the book recommendation I'll check it out. But honestly I think you're right. Sometimes I feel like my strong need for "meaning" whatever that is, happens when I am not feeling well mentally. If I am feeling better I'm ok to just exist.

I agree with the last post.

when I am feeling well mentally, i'm not really concerned by it

but, on days like today, I stop to wonder

well, what have I been doing for the last week?. absolutely nothing. is the meaning to life just that?. nothing?. is the meaning to life just to sit their watching the day pass you by?. watching time pass by?

I think in a way it is.

Possible trigger:

1 of the things I have always struggled with is the whole concept of at the end, life is meaningless anyway. you die, you are forgotten

you could be as important as the queen, same rules apply

I really struggle with that and it makes the question, what is the meaning of life, a really tough one to answer.

before my MI began, I did have some ideas of what I might do in life, what the meaning would be

but that was then. things change

Possible trigger:

something else I really struggle with (I was going to create my own thread but it can go here), is knowing what my purpose is on this earth.

they say don't they, everyone was put here for a reason

but why me?

am I going to die without for filling my purpose?

I feel like the guy from avenue q sometimes. it took him ages to find his purpose, and at the end of the musical.. I can't remember now, I don't think he knew still what his purpose was.

[DechanDawa]

Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl is usually recommended when this kind of discussion comes up.

Originally Posted by BlueMerleGirl

Thanks everyone for your replies. mr stranger thanks for the book recommendation I'll check it out. But honestly I think you're right. Sometimes I feel like my strong need for "meaning" whatever that is, happens when I am not feeling well mentally. If I am feeling better I'm ok to just exist.

I agree with you, that when we feel depressed we begin to ask these philosophical questions of meaning. It's like being trapped in a dark room, which makes you make a judgment of the world outside your room from your position and situation in the dark room. However, I think asking the question of the meaning of life is important to examine by your own thought process what life is. You can read many books, but eventually you will come to your own conclusion with your own convictions.

[DechanDawa]

You seem to have everything...home, marriage, family, career. Maybe you are just tired. You might want to have a physical and have your thyroid checked. Hypothyroidism can produce some of the symptoms you describe.