[buffysummers]

Sorry for the long post...
Been thinking about this for a while, but lately it's really getting to me. Are some people genuinely "less good" than others?
Ever since I can remember I've felt depressed. I'm the oldest of 3 sisters and everyone around me growing up would say oh, Youngest sister is the pretty and social one, Middle sister works hard and is smart and athletic, and I wasn't really much of anything. People told me I was annoying. Adults didn't really like me playing with their children- I don't know why, I guess I was a strange kid. I had pretty bad acne since age 11, and I got made fun of for it. Never dated in high school because I didn't feel like anyone could ever be interested in me. In college I really did put myself out there- I finally got a lot of social experiences, started dating, tried to feel good about being me. But then my boyfriend at the time cheated on me (and started dating that girl instead) and the recession happened and all of my student loans were revoked and I was forced to leave my dream college. This was years ago, I'm 29 now, and I haven't really managed to make my life any better since then. I've had a few more boyfriends and some "friends" here and there (they all seem to leave eventually- I think I drive them away with my insecurities). I have a steady job, but it involves a lot of social interaction and sometimes I feel like I just don't "get" people- I don't have autism, I think just a lot of social anxiety and maybe limited experience? Anyway it seems like I'm always saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, and it's so painful to be at work, but I've been there for years so by this point I'm making an ok amount of money (aka enough to pay my bills in an expensive city and a tiny bit extra for fun things- also they pay for my health insurance and therapy(!)), and without a college degree, it seems like service jobs are the only option for me.
Recently I've felt increasingly worse about the state of my life. I don't have any real friends at the moment, I'm mostly considered "unattractive" (which as a girl means that people say mean things to you randomly or mostly just ignore you), and my life doesn't have any drive or purpose. I am definitely the "loser" in my family. I feel like I was born a lesser specimen of the human species- one that was meant to die off young in the old days, but now I'm here, just hanging around, no hopes or dreams just existing. I feel like after a bad childhood and a crappy young-adulthood, my life can never be good- I'm playing catch-up to people who are so far ahead of me that I can't even imagine what their lives must be like. People around me are getting married, releasing albums with their bands, working on their dream career- meanwhile I'm just sucking air. Just sucking in general.
I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, but it's hard to look at happiness all the time and feel like you can never have a part of it. I think I was just born a little "less than."

TLDR: I feel like I'm intrinsically not as good as other people.

[Rohag]

Hello, Buffysummers.

No matter how you answer this question,

Originally Posted by buffysummers

Are some people genuinely "less good" than others?

this is undoubtedly true:

Originally Posted by buffysummers

it's hard to look at happiness all the time and feel like you can never have a part of it.

When the world constantly bombards you with "less than" messages, it's almost inevitable some of the poison will seep inside.

[Clara22]

No, absolutely there is not any thing in nature that says some things are better than others. On the contrary, in nature things co-exist and balance each other. We, human beings, started to categorize stuff and established arbitrary lists of "good things" vs. "bad things", all these marked by our cultural limitations.
Oh! And you compare yourself to others because you have learned to do so. Don't apologize. In fact, who taught you that you are inferior should apologize to YOU. Of course, we cannot identify who taught you that you are inferior because it was not just one individual but many, and they are part of the system, as well. We all are trapped in a system of beliefs and values that works in a way that destroy individuals in order to perpetuate itself. I don't want to erase your concerns about the things you want to improve in yourself. But please be mindful that society many times rewards individuals according to some "rules" that are not necessarily good. The rewarded individuals are not necessarily good or better than you in an absolute way. All is relative.